I have noticed that many problems stem from the fact that people don't stop seeing their exes for one reason or another sometimes for the course of years. It causes insecurity and instability in their new relationships and this is especially true when there are no children or shared assets and they just don't leave one another alone.
My personal view is that once you break-up you have a chance at a clean slate with another person presuming you make the choice not to continuously drag your past along by talking to people who you just should let go. Even if you were friends prior there's very rarely any reason, at least in my opinion, to keep purposefully seeking out the past which is almost guaranteed to harm the future. Unless there is some intention to actually rekindle the relationship or some truly binding status like children or property I think you should just stop bothering with generating your own drama.
Am I wrong?
- You are wrongVote A
- You are not wrongVote B
Most Helpful Girl
You're absolutely right. I think the majority of people here will agree with that, including the ones who are still active with their exes. The fact that they can acknowledge that it is wrong, doesn't mean they will stop repeating the same pattern.0
Most Helpful Guy
You're not wrong.
1. Moving on is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you've invested a lot in the relationship and partner.
2. Break ups aren't always an agreement. Most of the time only one person in the relationship wants it, the other is 'forced' to go along because a relationship is suppose to be a two way street or whatever.
3. A lot of people are good at pretending to be okay nowadays and it hampers the moving on process.
4. Some people still meet with their exes because: he/she is their co-worker, or fellow student, or apartment-mates, or neighbor. Frequency in bumping into each other is an important factor in moving on.
And someone who actively seeks out their ex is clearly someone who haven't moved on. They might've pretended to agree with the breakup.1