Should I fight for him.. basically tell him how I feel?

Well we were in a relationship. It was solid in my opinion and things were great. Have a lot in common and act the same. We are very much like each other. Examples are like we both want the same things in life, have same beliefs ( marriage etc) same occupation outcome, Family values, religion we get along great and could talk about anything and want to explore new places. I am very much comfortable with him. he's my person and everyone saw us being together for a long time that when he broke up with me it came as a shock. He became depressed and shut everyone out. he was struggling to find a job and money was getting low. Upon coming out of this he told me he didn't see us connecting and did not feel what he thought he should be feeling towards me which i find to be very weird because before this all happened things were good. We were happy and enjoying it together and he was very loving etc. So to me it shocking. Since bu I have been sad but I have not et him see it besides that one night. Since then he has initiated contact with him and after some time I have a few times. Things are good we joke aorund talk about random stuff etc. He still seems like he cares or is trying to find info out. We did have sex 3x which I know is a big no-no. I do love him and not sure if I could ever get him back since the BU just seemed so shocking. I feel like there could be. I mean I don't know. I want to talk to him and tell him how I feel basically fight for him. It almost been 2 months since BU so i think it might be safe to just tell him listen I still very much have strong feelings for you and me and you having sex when we do is not helping much so we can try again or im not sure. Is that a bad idea? I want to be open with him and tell him since I still do feel this way towards him. It can either go good or bad i guess. so help me!!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe the two of you just needed some time apart. Spending so much time together can be a food thing, but it can also be damaging. It can drive couples apart, and make people reconsider things that used to be "perfect". Give it some time. If it was meant to be, the two of you will work things out. Just gibe each other some space.

    • Could be a possibility. When we first started dating he was the one who said he thought not seeing someone you are with for a few days is not ok lol. It could have changed. Its just crazy that one day things are good and then the next day he is saying all these things like i said there was no connection and he wasn't feeling what he thought. it drives me crazy! I hope things work out I am giving him space and not being crazy with texting or anything and letting him text me, but its also crazy because I do not want to just have sex with him and thats it. I still feel there is a connection when we I see him , So I will let things fall into place and possibly talk to him.

What Girls Said 2

  • If he's struggling with depression then it's best to just leave it be. If he thought he could make a relationship work with you then he would bring it up himself, but he's fine taking what he can get. People struggling with depression go through periods where they feel disconnected from everyone else, and emotionally empty, and whether you think it makes sense or not, you can't make him feel a certain way just because you really want him to, it's emotionally draining. It's an endless battle of wishing they would "just do this" or "just do that" but at certain times they aren't capable. You need to think of yourself for a moment and determine if the pattern you've fallen into is really benefiting you (sleeping with him but not dating him) and is that something you want to continue doing? Because you can't force him to want more or try to make a relationship with you work, you can only decide if you accept things as they are or not.

    • I think he was struggling with that. Like i said he was down during the month of March and secluded himself away from us and friends. He didn't want to go out and just stayed in and played video games all the time. he now has a job ( temporary until his summer job starts) but I don't know what he is going to do in September. he got the job a few days before we broke up but it all could still have tied into the depression. I do not want what we are just having at the moment. Is it a bad idea to talk to him about it and see what he feels? The times that I see him it really feels like there is something there. Yes we did have sex but im not sure I can't describe it. Its very loving. I always spend the night and he always tells me to get home safe and to text him when I do. Last time he was sighing a lot when he was trying to sleep so not sure if something was bothering him or not. It just seems to me that something can happen but I can't predict it. I guess a talk will be ok?

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    • I know, I meant just to straight out tell him this is how I am still feeling and thats it. Let him take it in his own hand. If something happens so be it

    • Yeah it's always better to be assertive and clear about what you want.

  • Ask him why he feels that way and if you can do something to help him change his mind.

    • Yeah, possibly I might just have to tell him how I still feel for him and see what happens. Its almost been 2 months since he broke up with me but I do think there could be a second chance. I do believe there was a connection and im sure he thought so to in the beginning so im not sure why all of a sudden when he fell into all that he just came out and said all that stuff. It frustrates me but all i can do i guess is tell him how I feel the next time I go over and see where we stand if he just wants that or to maybe try again. He is very busy now with working like 3 jobs. He told his friend who is also a mutual friend of mine that he needed to take care of himself and get his life in order before he could take care of anyone else and felt like he was bringing me down. So I am not really sure but I guess I just have to have a talk with him.

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