I was dating this girl I adore, we got engaged, but we lived pretty differently and I was afraid we would struggle, so I said goodbye. She started dating this other guy, but she didn't seem to be very much into him. I talked her into giving me a second chance. After 3 months I still had cold feet and left again. I couldn't figure out why she didn't want a fancy house and why she wanted to keep it simple. She went back to the guy she isn't into. After a few months I finally get it. She doesn't want the busy life full of debt and the weight of stuff. She wants a simple life with simple things like nature, friends, and family. I've made my life complex and really hate it. I've made bunch of changes, sold my house, got out of debt, and have been hiking around and I'm much happier. Now I'm missing her and grieving over loosing my best friend. She says that she wishes we had married, told me she loves me, and "misses me and my kids like crazy". When I ask about other guy she says that she thinks she can love him and that he wants to marry. I asked if she wants to marry him and she said he is really good to her and she wants to get married, but didn't want to think about it anymore. I think that her attraction level with me is much much higher, we had a very strong connection and found each other to be extremely attractive. I think the other guy puppy dogs around her and has security issues. He has never been married and he isn't very young. I also think she is struggling with the family part. She loves kids, he doesn't have any, and she is getting too old to have more of her own. I think there are other problems with their relationship as well. She sounds stuck to me. She can either risk it all with the one she really loves (but hurt her twice) and hurt nice guy, stick with nice guy, but not a good fit and feels neutral about, or starts over again and possibly is alone. Does that sound right? Anyone know of a way to unstuck her? What should I do?
I texted her, she isn't over me, there is still hope. We miss each other a lot. I'm going to be super generous and kind to her. If she can trust again I'll put a ring on her finger and we will pick out a house and I'll never doubt again, as the things I was afraid of aren't factors anymore and I've learned to trust that things work out when people truly lov each other.