Is this a good way to text ex?

OK so me and my ex of almost 2 years broke up because we weret talking/seeing eachother as much and I guess it seemed as if I wasn't trying enough and basically things just fell apart. I didn't think there was much bad blood between us but weve barely talked in the past month (broke up like 3 weeks ago). I really love this girl and would die to get her back, but I just wanna at least be friends with her again beause we were very good friends before we dated and she even said she wishes to remain friends. I want to say
"Do you think we can talk about this one day and work it out because I feel horrible about everything"

Anything I should add or change to make me seem less desperate? I dont wanna get back together with this talk just not be estranged
Is this a good way to text ex?
Add Opinion