Is it a break where we just need space or over forever?

We have been in each other's lives every single day for nearly three years, close friends for three years, dating for the rest. He loved me from the day he met me (only told me after a year) We had a period where we fell out as friends and he came back apologising 4 months later saying he's missed me.

Something went wrong at the end, we were never official & that was fine, but he started to get stressed, he wanted to go to college but his parents are sick so he has to work constantly to pay the bills, he hardly had time for friends, I would push him to talk to me about it but he is very reserved. He pulled away the harder I tried. He got paranoid I would cheat on him, leave him or not love him forever (ex's cheated on him or ditched him after years) & he said that's why he's pushing me away so it hurts less, we had known each other for years so I didn't understand. We just started arguing more over this stuff.

I know it all sounds so bad, but we spoke every day for years, perfectly OK, until all of this stress started happening & we fell apart. I'm only saying the negatives because I am hurt, not about how happy we made each other, how we could speak constantly for 12 hours on end, we were best friends or how hard he worked to get me. We still told each other that we love each other, we only want each other & we are not looking for anybody else, it's just a bad time right now & that if he lost me forever it would destroy him. I argued and begged to be friends during this, he said no but that he won't delete my number so we can talk again one day & that he needs to focus on himself, he can't be in a relationship in this state & that I love the old him not who he is now. He then wrote a poem about me (has our memories) about me being his weakness & he can't be without me & posted it to all his friends and family.

Is this a break? We are currently 2 weeks into no contact. I think we do need this as it's healthy to have space. Please be polite in your responses!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going through a very similar situation and both of our ex's seem to be almost identical. First off, as much as it hurts (and it hurts a lottt) you have to ask yourself if you're helping yourself by getting back together with him. I don't know about you, but I have dreams about him still every night. In the dreams we get back together and when I wake up I'm sad but once I get my head together a little, it comes time for me to take everything into consideration again. This is what helps me every morning ; know that even if he wants to get back together that dealing with someone who needs to take space away from you... It's just going to throw you in a loop of feeling like you're not good enough. News flash you ARE. I poured every price of me into him and it hurts so much for that reason. When thinking about this, consider all the other people you've opened up to who haven't left. Maybe it's family, maybe it's some random person in your life. Choose the ones who don't leave. But I guess to anwser your question, in the long run both of our guys are going through a lot and if they ever want to get back together... Well let's just say a person doesn't heal from what they're going through in a couple months.


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What Guys Said 1

  • people talk too much..

    do people enjoy activities together anymore? things that dont require talking.

    • Yeah we could be silent around each other and were happy, going for walks or watching movies etc. I think we probably shouldn't have spoken so much every day though I agree, people need space

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