Drawing Boundaries with an Ex?

My ex-girlfriend and I just started talking again after about 4 months. During that time she frequently tried to keep us talking and it was very frustrating. I guess I'm just wondering if there are some do's and dont's that might be helpful now that we are talking again. I know deep down I still have feelings for her, but I don't want to strain our friendship.

Here are some facts that might help:

- She does have a boyfriend, and its her high school sweetheart

- We've been broken up 7 or 8 months

- We do talk sort of regularly, but relationships stuff is never discussed or even mentioned at all


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  • Tips:

    1) Don't take anything personally- If she is having a stressful day, stand up for yourself, but don't yell at her or belittle her.. Don't try to "point fingers" at whose fault anything is. There is no need for that in a friendship or a relationship.

    2) Laughter and comedy- People are more prone to be around people they feel comfortable being around; If you can joke with her and make her laugh, the conversations will continue

    3) Meet him AND shake his hand- it will save lots of drama for her (AND YOU) for the later

    future. Come to an understanding on where you stand about your feelings with her ("I still care for her, but I won't intervene in your relationship by flirting with her, out of respect for you."- etc)

    4) Pay attention if she is treating him how you want to be treated - If she is cheating on him, what means that she wouldn't cheat on you, if you both got back together?

    5) Make sure that you're not just LABELING yourself as her friend, but that you are being her friend. You don't need to hug on her meaningfully or kiss her on the cheek.. You don't need to buy her stuff or be treated like a taxi.. Have respect for her and yourself.

    .. Just common sense really... Just trying to save you some headaches ;)

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Me and her just talk, don't hang out... He doesn't even want her talking to me let alone seeing her. As far as he is concerned me and her never talk. Good advice though, thanks

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    • I can understand where he's coming from, but he is smothering her... Give it time and they will eventually break up, I'm almost certain.

    • Well, they've been together for like 6 months already, so I'm not thinking the odd's of it happening anytime soon are very good. As for it happening someday... I mean all relationships do

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