He just broke up what should I do?

So he was approaching me 6 months ago. I didn't want him because of my own issue with some other guy ( dickhead) that I really liked, and also because he had long distance girlfriend ( other country) back then.

He is a free soul and very sensitive, he asked me out many times and I always say yes then ditch him, not intensionally but just because I didn't care about him.

Last time he asked me out, he said "I'm leaving the country next week, do u want to go out with me" ... I suddenly felt I should give him a chance, and I felt sad as a friend...

So we went out, with bounch of other friends. He followed me whole night on the dancing floor, finally he kissed me when we were alone, and he took me home that night... Next day morning, he cooked breakfast, he made coffee, he was cuddling me and I was very surprised that he actually do care...

And that day was his last day in this country, we went out again with friends, all the friends ended up at mine and he waited until everyone left in the early morning and he started kissing me and hugging me... And telling me many things happened to him and his family...

I didn't want him to feel unnecessary attachment since he is leaving next day morning, so i told him I "hate" him when he asked me if I ever liked him...

Now he is gone back to his country, i told him try to sort out the issue with his (ex) gf-for some reason I truly wish him always stay happy and have someone close to him and love him since he is a very sweat man... But deep inside I do miss him, and I know I shouldn't creat drama and tell him any of these.

I think he is thinking the same, he knows many guys after me and he shouldn't ask me to wait for him or even mention anything like that... I sometimes look at my phone and wish he texts me and tells me about his life... I know what is right to do, but I don't know if I should do the right thing or I should go follow my heart...
I just wanna to say I didn't just want him because he is leaving... I liked him as a person from first few times out with friends, but he was in the relationship. Altho it was their breaking up stage and he asked me out , I still said no because I thought I should not even consider about it since he is still in that relationship what so ever. Plus I had a guy chasing me back then and we stopped seeing each other before he and his girlfriend finally broke up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. He asked you out many times and you said "no," but it was intentional. So you accidentally said "no?" Take responsibility for your actions. You said "no" and you meant to say "no," so it was quite intentional and deliberate.

    2. "I didn't want him to feel unnecessary attachment since he is leaving next day morning, so i told him I "hate" him when he asked me if I ever liked him... " You have a justification for telling him a lie. Honest people do not find excuses to tell lies; they tell the truth.

    3. " I do miss him, and I know I shouldn't create drama and tell him any of these." Actually, it sounds as if you are enjoying the drama.

    4. "I think he is thinking the same." Unless he told you what he is thinking, you have no idea what thoughts are in his head; you are merely guessing and assuming that you are correct.

    5. "I don't know if I should do the right thing or I should go follow my heart..." Following your heart into a relationship is usually the right thing. You are creating drama for yourself with this reasoning.

    6. He lives in another country. Is there any possibility of actually having a relationship with him?

    • U think I should tell him I like him when he is on the edge of a breaking down relationship with his ex? I thought I did right thing to not going out with him at that time period. And you think I am not creating drama now if I am telling him "I like you so much" while he is leaving? I am sorry, I can understand what do you mean but I cannot find the right balance at this situation... I don't want drama and I am minimising it but it doesn't mean it is not hurting me...

    • Show All
    • You are right, I asked him, he said he is not sure when or if he will be back to this country... but one thing I don't get it is... why he has to completely stop talking to me? I mean we were friends before, so we can only be friend and talk if he is here?

    • Maintaining any relationship with you keeps alive the hope, maybe in you, and maybe in him, that eventually you will again have a relationship. Perhaps cutting all contact makes it easier for him to move forward. And maybe he is doing this out of respect for his current or ex-girlfriend.

Most Helpful Girl

  • how romantic... although he's a dickhead, too, as he cheated on his girlfriend with you. why exactly are you interested now and weren't before? i mean, you always knew he was a nice guy. Im just asking because i would tell you to follow your heart, but only if you are sure, that it isn't just because you want him as you can't have him.

    • He didn't cheat, I only with him since he broke up with his girlfriend, and they had their long distance problem and it wasn't me. it's not he didn't try, he tried to fix it, but it didn't work out for them. And again, I asked everyone I know to make sure I wasn't the reason they broke up and I only said yes to him because he out of a relationship

    • oh sorry, didn't get that. well then there's nothing really stopping you except yourself?

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would leave him alone, and just deal with the heartache. You have ditched him, you told him you hated him, and you have denied his multiple request to take you out and NOW you want him cause he's leaving the country and you're feeling sad and lonely? Poor you. You'll get over it. You've been without him many times before when you kept turning him down. So why is it different now? Because he's leaving, we always want what we can't have. Let this be a lesson to value people who are right in front of you, willing to spend their time with you. If a guy likes you and you like him, tell him. If you don't like a guy, leave him alone. Don't be immature and irrational with your emotions. Stay true to yourself and get it together.

  • Do the right thing. Your heart is almost never right


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