Am I being selfish for putting my school needs first? I just was accepted in the Nursing program and my fiance wants me to pay our whole rent?

So I have to pay a lot out for the nursing program and didn't get to do what I wanted with my overtime check that I worked extremely hard for. I feel like my fiance isn't trying hard enough to better himself. He needs a lot but instead he's more interested with spending his time at the gym or doing things that are productive in a sense but not productive to our future. I want better for him and him to be able to provide better for us. Instead of working lately he wants to help the wrestling team at a high school. I think it's very kind of him but it's not helping us. Go to school for it! Now he wants me to pay the rent on the first. I just feel like I'm not doing nothing that I want everything that I need to but it's ok for him to not think about us. So I said something to him this morning. Told him men do what they have to boys what they want. Am I wrong for wanting him to find better to provide for us. It's not just us cause I can do for myself but I also want to see him do better for himself. He blows up on me every time I point it out because he doesn't want to change anything. I've been crying because I want us to stay together buy I don't want a man who only does what he wants. He pushed me to go to school now that I'm accepted it's like he's not feeling that I have to be a full time student and pay for all this stuff. I made a lot of money thinking I would be able to do other stuff but just found out I have to spend it on the RN program. Am I being selfish? Then the next check he wants me to pay the whole rent says he will pay back.. womp womp.


Most Helpful Guy

  • i think you have a legitimate point but i think if you are at the point of questioning or pointing out a flaw in his manhood
    "Told him men do what they have to boys what they want. "
    you are getting to a dangerous point in the relationship where you two are levying rather thinly veiled insults. i think you are very correct though that his expectation that you pay rent while he apparently isn't doing things to hold up his financial end of things is unfair and irresponsible.

    • Thank you! What is a better way to say it? I felt it would bother him that's why I said it. I go a long time without speaking on his flaws so when they come out its not nice. He told me I don't do nothing so from that point it was on.

    • well that notion that you don't do anything definitely seems inflammatory so i suppose he got what was coming to him

      i mean we are human so when we feel attacked or insulted it is in our nature to hit back (hopefully just verbally). ideally we'd like to stay above that but it is oru nature

Most Helpful Girl

  • This guy sounds like a bum.

    If he won’t meet you halfway on expenses, you should wonder what else he won’t meet you halfway on.

    You need to start standing your ground when it comes to money. Tell him that unless he gets his act together then your ­relationship isn’t going to work.

    If things do not change you will grow to resent him.


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