My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. Guys opinion please?

My boyfriend broke up with me because he says that I blow up his phone too much and he just wants to be left alone and have space.. So yesterday he texts me and says " you want to come over today, we aren't together tho, I just miss you and I wanna see you" he just wanted sex. Days before he broke up with me he told me he loved me and he wouldn't like other guys having sex with me and days later he left me so heart broken. He doesn't wanna talk about the problem. I feel like there's more to this situation then just me blowing up your phone, but he won't talk to me. I feel like he's having other issues. And he also so said he wants to have sex for me because he doesn't wanna look for another girl for awhile so he wants to ask me for sex. I'm hurt, I don't know what to do. I don't wanna lose him but then again I don't wanna be used for just sex. How can he tell me he misses me and loves me days before and then break up with me. Help please I'm having a tough time dealing with this situation. I ended up going over when he asked and I tried talking about it and he said no I'm not talking about it. I just called you so we can hangout. We ended up having sex and even after and before he acted exactly the same when we were together. He kisses me good night and he said I'm not allowed to date anyone and he isn't either. I'm confused he's 30 and I'm 25


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This dude is playing games. He knows you hace feelings for him and is using that to manipulate you. Somebody else is likely involved or at least, he's looking and using you as a place holder til he fills that void. Don't play his game, don't be used. Find somebody who'll respect you and put you as a priority and not as an option or rebound. Plus, usually when people start hitting you with that "you text me/contact me too much" that's usually code for they no longer love you anymore because it surely wasn't a problem when y'all first got together and it won't be a problem with any new girl he's with or is talking to

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    • He said he hasn't felt the same because we've argued too much and nagged too much.. He always blames me for everything.. I'm not gonna text him anymore

    • Yeah, just forget him. He's not worth your time. Sounds like a real scumbag

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hahahaha, first, my best friend went through this same thing with her boyfriend a couple years ago, and he was completely full of SHIT. He told her she couldn't date anyone but they weren't together. He said she was bothering him too much but he needed space. But he always called her everyday and wanted her to come over. That dude came crawling back after 6 weeks.

    I mean, literally, this is the same story she had. Almost exactly the same story. Give him space. Don't talk to him. If he texts you, tell him you need space, too, and that you want to be with him, because you do. And tell him you aren't going to have sex with him. You guys are friends. The end. Be stern.

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    • Yeah but he told me he doesn't feel the same about me that's why he wanted space. And I told him I'm not waiting for you, you either want me or not.. So we broke all contact.. He said we fight too much and nagged and blew up his phone too much.. I'm just gonna focus on myself. He doesn't love me anymore

    • Yeah, her boyfriend fed her the same line that he didn't feel the same that she did.

      I don't buy that he doesn't have feelings for you anymore, but you should be moving on anyway. You don't need that negativity in your life.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • "I don't wanna lose him but then again I don't wanna be used for just sex." And then you went and had sex with him. He does not respect you and you do not respect yourself. You broke up because it didn't work. When you get back together, guess what you will discover? It still doesn't work. You will come out of this feeling badly about yourself and what you did. But you DO have a choice here. . . don't you?

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    • He said he doesn't feel the same anymore and he said when I went over to hangout and ended having sex he said it wasn't the same anymore. He blames it all on fighting and nagging and blowing up his phone

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      We were broken up when we had sex. And he told me the next day that he didn't feel anything for me when I went over and we had sex. Sure didn't feel like he didn't enjoy it. I'm losing all contact with him I don't deserve this. He first turns me into his girlfriend for 3 years and after wants to turn me into a sex object. He basically says he doesn't feel the same anymore he's not sure if it's the fighting that causes it and the constant blowing up his phone cuz he would just cut me offs

    • So why can't you just tell him that you refuse to be used as a sex toy for him? Then you institute 100% total no-contact.

  • He is toxic for you. You will keep going back to him hoping he will take you back, but every time, he will just take from you what he wants and leave you hanging. You should completely eject this guy from your life. It will be hard at first, but long term, it will be much better for you. Don't even answer the phone or anything. Act like he never existed. Burn the bridges, take out the trash.

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  • that guy is using your emotions against you and it will give you a bad impression about yourself. no matter how much you loved him... that relationship gradually will turn into a friends with benefits and that will make you find another way to please him to change his mind and stay, but unfortunately things will end up having sex as usual... whether you like it or not. (cost you a lot of sex)

    you've to start to see things more clearly... your worth is to put limits to those who's taking advantage of you when you're weak.
    you need your mind more than love... cuz the first mistake is a lesson to learn from it... but the second mistake is an option.
    take the right decision and don't be too hard on yourself... you also need attention, affection and comfort.
    give yourself a break to not date or fall in love... you've to deal with your heart breaking to give yourself the respect that you deserve.

    Good luck...

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  • I personally would never go back to an ex, especially if they were the one who dumped me. You were together for 3 years, it's over. Better just to move on and find someone new.

    As far as "blowing up" his phone, could be true could be an excuse. As the saying goes, the first excuse someone gives you is never the real one. If you are texting him and then waiting till he responds then I would say you are probably not "blowing up" his phone. People like my ex best friend are incredibly annoying. He would text me while he knows I'm at work. Then text me again an hour later. Then call. Then call again. Then get upset and tell me I need to respond to him faster because I "can't possibly be that busy". Needless to say I don't hang out with him anymore.

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  • Tell him he's causing great confusion in you, tell him his words need to mimic his actions... either your a couple or you're not, don't fall into the friends with benefits category.

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  • tell him that you want to talk about the issues that led to the break up... do not have casual sex with him because that will essentially lead you nowhere. he'll get what he wants without the relationship

    i agree that there is more to this than you "blowing up his phone" because if that was truly the issue he could've just asked you to stop.

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    • He told me that we fought a lot and I bagged to much but it was his fault mainly why we fought and he didn't feel the same anymore about me.. But he would still say I love you to me smh I just hate how he couldn't tell me sooner

  • You should move on he is sorry you deserve better tell him to leave you alone drop your feelings for him in a bucket I know it's not easy but you'll be glad you did!!!

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  • he's a duchebag. Dump him. No contact. Move on.

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  • It seems like he's having issues, how many times do you text him? You probably came off as too clingy and he wanted space, what really annoyed me is that he broke up with you and he doesn't want you to see anyone else😬

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    • He said maybe his feelings changed because we fought a lot, I just wish he didn't tell me he loved me constantly out of no where he breaks up with me.

  • Tell him that u won't do anything with him until he tells u about his issue

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    • He told me he doesn't feel the same because we've been arguing and he said I nag to much.. He said he doesn't know how he'll feel in the future. I'm just gonna move on with my life. It sucks :(

    • At least u know where u stand now

    • He's the first man I've ever loved, so it's going to be hard but having closure makes me feel a little better.

  • "he said I'm not allowed to date anyone and he isn't either."
    right there and then i'd have told him to go and fuck himself, but you keep doing you OP

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    • Yeah, he said when he seen me he didn't feel the same about me, he says it might be because we fought a lot but it's his fault we kept fighting. I'm not gonna force someone to love me.. I'm not bothering him ever again

  • You don't like stalker spam his phone do you?

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    • No I'm not crazy like that

What Girls Said 3

  • That's bullshit and get rid of this POS once and for all. The nerve he has to tell you you can't see guys but he wants to keep you around for sex until he finds another chick? Screw that! I hope you have more self worth than to continue with this. Yeah, he hurt you but he's a narcissistic asshole. Again---that's total BS.

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  • Move on.

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  • He wants the best of both worlds. Don't give him sex. Cut him off for a month and then see what happens.
    If he loves you he will soon be at your door with flowers.
    I know it's hard as I am in the same situation.

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