I am struggling to do nothing and walk away?

Anonymous
I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have always been really close - well i thought we were. We was looking at houses and put an offer down. He had abit of stress at work (which he wasn't discussing) and reflecting now he doesn't handle pressure very well which i think provoked lots of this. Whenever he got a job update he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore, as he was having job security issues. After a intense phone call and him saying he didn't know how he felt about me i said we should probably break up but i didn't want to and he just didn't say anything. I was left in limbo and heartbroken that he wouldn't fight for us. I told himto let me know if he wants to chat as i didn't feel it was needed i just think he needed space.
I tried to contact him all week which i regret not giving him space maybe and being too intense, but he is a believer in not getting back with an ex and always feels insecure as a couple so i need him to know how much i care. I have tried to get him to reach out to me for 10 days now to no response. It has broken my heart and i have cried and cried. I felt i didn't get any closure. He would have found his final job update last Friday but he didn't reach out over the weekend which surprised me - but also made me think "oh great, his walking away". I have really really tried and gone silent on a few days, haven't had one response, and now deleted his number permanently and have no way of getting it back. I wasn't ready to break up i just felt he was pushing me too it, too scared maybe. We was so close to planning our future and he was saying all these things to me which is why i felt he needed space. As he isn't one to contact an ex again it makes me feel sick after five years i won't be hearing from him again. What do i do? He isn't a talker that is the problem. I know i need to give up now. He has a friend who will be feeding into his ear its good to split as his always jealous and wants his mate back too.
I am struggling to do nothing and walk away?
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