I was talking with my boyfriend yesterday and I announced him that I have to do a 1 year and half internship in a foreign country (haven't selected where yet). He is from South America and he is gonna graduate during the time I'm gone (I actually counted and he will still be here when I come back) so he will/might be gone home by then. Yesterday, it was the first time in our month and a half of dating (I know, pretty short) that we had a serious conversation about future plans, like marriage. He asked me first if I loved him (I kinda panicked because "love" is a big word) and then if I wanted to stay with him "forever". I replied that I did. He asked me these 2 questions at least 3 or 4 times. I replied positively to each of them. At one point, he said "but you're leaving". There, I got confused. Yes, I'm leaving but I will be back before he leaves for home and then I'll be able to stay with him. I'm kind of confused about all of that. First, because it's quite early in our relationship to talk about such serious plans (even though we both want the same thing); second, I am not leaving on an internship forever and I will be back. It seems like he sees this as too big of an obstacle to stay with me on the long term.
We weren't able to finish our conversation because my roommates were there and it wasn't really the right moment to talk about that.
What do you guys think?
Most Helpful Guy
He's trying to see if he should dump you or stay with you.
Seems like he doesn't want to wait for you only for you to break up.1
Most Helpful Girl
That's definitely not asking you to marry him...
Look, he clearly likes you and is trying to gauge how serious you are about him. It's fine to think "wow I like this person a lot. Maybe this could be someone I want to spend my life with" but anything close to engagement or marriage this early would be a HUGE red flag to me. You don't know somebody well enough after only a month and a half. You don't know somebody well enough after a year and a half. It's normal to wonder and think about it and fantasize but serious marriage talk should not be in the room, much less on the table at this point.1