My boyfriend's temper... help!

I have a great boyfriend and have been with him almost 6 years.

My father was a domestic abuser and I am extra careful. However my background also has made me more sensitive and I don't know what to do.

Most of the time my boyfriend is great. And I mean, most of the time. About once a year he has a temper. He has never hit me, but he suddenly starts to shout and swear, looks angry as hell, may punch a door or hold his fist up to me, and the worst time was when he spat in my face twice.

Ok, that sounds bad. But afterward (like, under a minute) his rage disappears and he is wracked with guilt. After the spitting incident he started crying like a baby and hated himself. He says he would never hit me and he just gets angry, but he does terrify me when he shouts at me (though maybe my past has made me more scared)? The worst thing is I don't do anything, all these times I have never shouted at him or done ANYTHING to upset him. He just flips.

He isn't controlling, or any of the other 'warning signs', he is very supportive and lets me do whatever I want but I just can't cope with his bursts of temper. I told him he needs to go to anger management but we don't have the money... plus he says he will look stupid doing those classes as the other men in there would have hit people and done really bad things.

Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It would help him to go talk to a psychologist one on one rather than a group I believe. Usually they'll let you make payments and work with you about payments. It's worth the price I think to make it work. good luck :)


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  • you need to leave him I know it's hard since you two have been together for 6 years and I can understand he is like your family now. but if you don't leave him, you will always live with threaten and fear which I am sure you don't want to.


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