Missing somone? Please read all of description?

If you had someone in your life for a year that you were intimate with, would you miss them? How would you feel if they suddenly go off of the map? Guys, and girls give honest awnser and if you have done this or someone has to you feel free to tell your story or give an example.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have never done this to anyone. I would never consider breaking up with someone by simply disappearing from their life. I would not think very highly of myself if I did that.

    I have never had anyone do that in am intimate relationship but I did once have someone try to do that. In my second year of law school, I had an interest in the young lady who cut my hair. I sent her roses on Valentine's Day and then we started dating. I was very much attracted to her and I also liked her as a friend. She was divorced and had two children - around ages 6 and 8 - with no child support.

    We soon had an intimate relationship and I thought we were getting along well. We went on dates, I invited her to professional social functions I attended, and I thought all was well. In bed, we were very compatible and I thought we were both happy with our sexual activities. I did not know (but later learned) that she was struggling with a cocaine addiction which she hid from me. She suddenly refused to answer my phone calls (this was before cell phones/texting/emails.) After about a week, I went to where she parked her car while she was working and I waited for her.

    She was shocked to see me. She did not confess to the cocaine addiction. She simply said that she thought that we were not compatible in the long term and it was better to end things now rather than later. No explanation for ghosting me. I knew that she was not telling me the truth but I also thought that she probably would never tell me the truth, so I gave her a goodbye kiss, turned and walked away. I never saw her again.

    I later learned, from a mutual friend, that she thought I was "too good" for her (law student, intern in legislature, leading a fairly clean life) and that she thought I would dump her sooner or later. That was not true, as I had dealt with a similar problem earlier in my life, but it was her fear. I would have never guessed what had happened and, unless you are fortunate and have a concerned mutual friend, you may never know what happened in your situation.

    • Omg thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds really intense. I'm sorry that you had to endure what you have had to endure. That is so sad. That's true. Sadly we don't have a mutual friend in common. I cut them out of my life when I cut him out. The thing is I feel embarrassed, because everyone knew that I was all about this guy. I have some good days, but then some bad days. Some days I feel like I'm over him, then it comes back. However what you have dealt with have to had cut you really deep.

    • I wasn't in love with the girl but I was developing feelings and had become attached not just to her but also top her 2 children. The sudden loss felt like a devastation even though I was not in love with her.

      Yes, I fell into a rebound relationship a few months later. It was a horrible mistake but I eventually married her and we stayed married for 17 years because I did not want to give up on my marriage.

      About a year ago, I wrote a myTake about how to get over a break up. It may have some advice that will help you:


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yea, that's totally normal, but you get over them eventually. If they left without any sort of warning clearly they didn't care about you all that much, so move on. There will always be relapses, where you'll do something or see something that will remind you of them and you'll think back on the good times and miss it, totally normal.

    • Yes at times I am totally okay. Then others it hits, and it hits hard. I just enter this depressive state. I'm working on moving on. You are totally right. My thing is I find it so harsh. Like to lead somone on for a year, and etc only to walk away like it never happened and like my emotions never mattered it just makes me so angry. I'm dealing with mixed emotions. I hate what he did, and I sometimes find myself hating him to be honest. I have a black and white view on love now.

    • Show All
    • I agree. Your right. It is silly to let it affect me like it has. Life gets better. Even though I feel like I'm in a standstill it all gets better. Thank you jesshkah. I appreciate your time, and advice.

    • You're so very welcome. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk more.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • No i would not

    • Would you care to elaborate or share why you wouldn't? I'm really interested, and would highly appreciate it.

What Girls Said 2

  • Only if I actually had feelings for them. If my heart wasn't in it I'd probably not be devastated if they just left. Maybe sad that the friendship went away but that's about it.

  • Sure but there are so many people out there. Don't waste too much time being sad over someone

    • That's true. Your are completely right.

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