My ex and i broke up after 5 years of being together. I hurt him pretty badly so I decided not contact would be best so I could give him space. We broke up about a month and a half ago but had broke no contact on my birthday briefly and one other time. This last time I had been on no contact for almost 3 weeks when he texted me, and we ended up hanging out for a whole weekend while he was in town. We hooked up a lot, cuddled, he spent the night, laughed a lot, went to dinner, even went on a run together through the city. It was a great weekend and we barely talked about the breakup. However when we did, he says he really wants me to work on some of my personal issues that led to the breakup. He doesn't think if we got back together right now that our relationship would work since we haven't worked on ourselves enough. He will probably be moving to another state in January but he says he knows our paths will cross in the future and we just need to work on ourselves in the mean time so we can grow and have a better relationship. I really feel like he isn't BSing me, he told me he really cares for me and the reason he reached out to me is because he knows I'm not a bad person and that I am very sorry for what I did, and that he didn't want the last thing that happened to us to leave on such a bad note. He says we can meet up again in a few weeks. What do you think about this? How would you all take what he is saying? So I try to move on or just be alone for now and hope he comes around? I know the question is kind of vague and broad but really just looking for any advice or thoughts. Thank you
Ex says he thinks we will reconnect in the future?
What Guys Said 1
Im in a situation that relates to yours. Except for I'm the guy that you find after you broke up with him. Now this is gonna be something that you're not going to want to hear because you obviously still love him and are probably still confused but you have to move on. "He doesn't think if we got back together right now that our relationship would work since we haven't worked on ourselves enough". Thats just another way to say that he's going to go out and try to find someone perfect for him because you aren't. And once time goes by and you meet someone else who really turns your world upside down. Your gonna realize that he wasn't the one either. I know your upset, and confused and heart broken over the fact that he wants you guys "to develop" but if he was your match. He would've stayed and developed WITH YOU. God works in mysterious ways; Don't miss your blessing.2
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What Girls Said 1
I am going through that right now. My (ex) boyfriend explicitly stated that he still wants a future with me but he does have some family and financial issues that are draining him and making him depressed. He feels that he can't give me enough of him and pursue me full force due to the situation he is in and would like some time to get out of it. Regardless it still hurts.
In regards to your situation, I wouldn't keep meeting up. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and if you dont give him time to miss you he is going to feel like he can have you at any time and make excuses such as "not enough growth" as a reason not to pursue you full force.
Honestly I think you should be alone not in hopes that he comes back but so you can strengthen yourself. You just got out of a 5 year relationship and the best thing for you now would be to focus on yourself. As much as I am tempted to call my boyfriend I think it's best to give it time. I don't know if he will come back. I don't even know if my boyfriend will come back even though he promised. Only time will tell. I do know that it is super important to get back out there. Because in the iinstance that he doesn't come back to you, you will have your own two feet to stand on.1
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