I dated this girl for almost 4 1/2 years. She was my high school sweetheart. I dated her from 16-20. I am now 21. Its been about almost 2 years since we've talked. No matter who I meet no one can relate to how much I related with her. I had originally stole this girl away from her boyfriend in high school. She was that one girl in school that everyone wanted. Our relationship took a turn for the worst due to addiction. In the beginning we dated each other because we both loved Xanax ( I know ) then after about 2 years I found out she had lied to me about using certain drugs. She continued to lie to me throughout the relationship about drug use. I ended up fucking all of her friends. The last 2 years of our relationship was nothing but meth heroin and xanax. I was hanging out with my friend one night and she said "hey your girlfriend isn't going to trip you're here right?" I realized at this moment I dont want to be in a situation where I have to worry about whether or not my girlfriend is going to trip. I wanted to be single. My relationship was toxic as hell and I wanted to get sober. I told her that I had been cheating on her over the years as a way of getting rid of her. I told her I'm not in any position to be taking care of her anymore and that I need to get my shit together and that I hope she finds someone who can take care of her in ways I couldn't. She was obsessed with me. From the first day I met her we hung out and she lived with me for the next 4 years after that. I was super close to her parents and wed always go out to eat together. Her dad actually told me that his daughter is mine to take care of now. It was all so much pressure at the time. Now that I'm sober and I'm not so numb anymore I've realized how much I really loved her. She's currently using meth and heroin and is semi homeless with a new boyfriend. I really wish we could be civil with each other but I don't expect much after what I did to her. Do you think she misses me the way I miss her?