Is this meet up with ex worth pursuing?

My ex and I split 3 months ago but saw each other until about a month and a half ago.

We've been in very limited contact since after I did a lot of wrong things that destroyed our current relationship. I've since worked on myself and tried my hardest to get back to where I was.

My ex and I spoke this week and agreed to meet next month but she said she wasn't jumping back into a relationship with me when we meet. I told her our old relationship is dead and that our future had to be new and fresh, and she said she knew that.

I dont want to be friends with her but I have said I wanted to reconcile and work together to rebuild a relationship together, which she said she understood. So far she hasn't said she didn't want that and hasn't said we don't have a future.

Is this meeting worth it? I'm willing to take things slow. I don't expect to get back together after one meeting. But I also don't want to drag this out if she never wants to date again.
She also seemed very interested in my progress over the last few months. She keeps asking what all I have changed. If that helps anyone help me determine what she's thinking


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What Girls Said 1

  • I would say it's worth it. I'm in her position right now with my ex. Similar story to yours. I still want him and he says he's trying to change and that he wants to start fresh. That being said, I am guarded with him, and because of that he's willing to give me space whenever I need it or let me vent at him when I need to release my emotions over something that happened with us previously.

    Let her know that you want to take your time with it. She may be afraid of commitment with you again, like I am with my ex. Give her some time to figure out what she wants with you two, and if she doesn't say anything after some time, you do have a right to know her place in all of this. You two could very well end up going on dates again without calling them dates, and you could be acting like a couple without calling yourselves a couple. So pay attention to that and ask her if you need to ask.

    • Yeah I have no idea what she wants. For a long time she told me she didn't know and that I hurt her more than I realized. Up until this week, she'd say that constantly.

      Then this week she said she thinks we should meet up next month. So I'm not sure what has changed.

      I realize fixing our relationship won't be a one meeting thing. I let her know I didn't expect her to jump back into anything with me, but that I wanted to show her I've made changes and work on things together.

      She never said she didn't want any of that so I genuinely hope she's not just leading me on. I'd much prefer she just tell me. But she may still be torn like you and just doesn't know and wants to see

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    • She probably should be guarded and will continue to be so until you can prove to her that you're different. Don't be afraid to face these issues head on when you talk to her. I don't mean go into depth about how you'll be different this time around, but make sure you guys talk about where you stand with each other and what you both need. Also don't be afraid to message her a bit. It will let you know you care, and offer her support for whenever she needs it.

    • Yeah, I guess I just don't know how. When we spoke Monday, I told her I'd be in touch and I'd see her in August, and she said okay. I just am not sure how to approach a conversation with her or what to say to her between now and then, and she isn't approaching me much.

      All she wanted to know Monday was what I had done to change and what steps I was taking to fix myself. I told her about my therapy and how I've been changing my approach to my family and friends, and she said I should be proud, but she didn't open up much to me at all, just that she was busy and still learning about the new city (she moved here to be with me).

What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like there is a chance. You were very clear on how you saw things and she basically gave the impression that she agreed and was will to try. Good Luck.

  • Well if your past was as bad as you have made it out to be then she is asking what you have changed for specific reasons. While you say you don't want to drag it out if it isn't going some where , she isn't going to jump back in until she is convinced that you have actually changed and not just saying you have. The depth of destruction that has been done will dictate the time it will take to rebuild the confidence and trust required for her to be willing to proceed with a plan of any future. Don't get offended if she just doesn't see there has been an adequate change in you to even want to try again. If in fact you did things to war warrant her ending it then you only have you to blame if the changes she wants aren't met

    • I ended it actually. Well, it's a long story, but had I not moved myself out of our apartment for stupid reasons, we'd still be together. It wasn't until her anger set in that we really stopped speaking constantly and seeing each other

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