Girls, What should a man do when a woman can't make herself understood and is just getting progressively more upset?

What should a man do when a woman can't make herself understood and is just getting progressively more upset, despite best attempts to find out what's wrong and what's going wrong, and can you explain how any advice you give me is supposed to work please?

And, in the process of trying to find out what was wrong and now what's going wrong, when a man like me reports the evidence of his own perception systems (just like the woman *appears* to be doing with hers), she usually says that she's always 100% right and the man is always 100% wrong. We man find it hard to believe that our perceptions are almost always wrong because our perceptions normally serve us very well when we're out and about on our own -- we ONLY seem to be wrong in the eyes of SOME women when we're trying to reach agreement about how to handle a disagreement.

Now, as I say, when in such 'arguments', I'm trying to reach agreement on how how to handle the original disagreement AND how to handle any other disagreements that crop up in the argument process itself, so we may end up trying so sort many disagreements out at the same time, and I think we can only discuss one disagreement at a time, so then we have to agree which disagreement to look at next (which is yet another problem to deal with).

Then it all gets so complicated that nothing ever gets resolved, which usually one of us can't cope with.

So how does this whole process look like from the woman's point of view, please?

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  • If this is YOUR woman?

    Here's what you do: You shut the fuck up. You grab that woman. You pull her into you. You kiss her like it's the first time... and the last time. You haul her off to the nearest bedroom (or chair, or floor, or any semi-horizontal location), and you "argue" with yr bodies.
    You make sweet, sweet love to that woman.

    If she's screaming at you... she almost certainly WANTS to be screaming in a totally different (and much more pleasurable) way.
    Give her what she wants.

    If she were REALLY just fed up with you, she'd give you a look of disgust, disengage from you, and walk away. If she's continuing to engage with you, then she wants to... well... *engage* with you. Mmhmm.

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    • ... The time to get back down to more serious discussion, is *afterward*. When the two of you are exhausted, and you've bonded together again. That's when you'll be able to have surprisingly honest discussion, with a minimum chance of hurt feelings.

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    • My girlfriend is not at all pathetic and I like it that way !!

    • ahah "drongo" you must be from the ANZAC countries.

      Don't make the mistake of politicizing sex. Sex is NEVER political. Submissiveness in the bedroom DOES NOT equal inferiority outside of it.
      In fact, submissiveness (or dominance) in the bedroom is MOST meaningful when it's *contrasted* with a totally different personality elsewhere. Because then, what you share with yr partner is actually SPECIAL and UNIQUE, and isn't just some other reflection of her everyday self.

      I'm gna ask again -- How much do you LOVE this woman?

      Do you love her enough to step outside yr comfort zone?

      Or do you just want to let her soul rot from the inside out?

      __

      If you are concerned about her possibly crying foul after the fact, then -- once you've decided together that this is something you want to try -- you may want to think about taking her to a club or venue where you can act out these scenes with others present. If you live in any major city, they will have these.

  • Usually when people get upset like that it's not just about one disagreemen so it's adding fuel to the fire to try and make it only about one thing. Especially if the one thing is small. Then they'll just feel like you'll belittle them over the one thing because by itself it's usually not a big deal.

    The first step is for everyone to try to calm down. Then you ask what's bothering the person and WHY. Do they feel taken for granted? Disrespected? What's at the core of the problem? Then you can work on how to fix things together.

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    • I worked that one out the other day. My Lisa won't do one thing. Discuss one thing it becomes 4. Then discuss which one to work on first it becomes 8. Then I want to die !!

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    • Your life history may have brought you up against a different set of issue that you feel a need to resolve, and that's fine, and you are helping me with mine, which I'm so grateful for, by the way. So, if I can return the favour one day, then just say the word, otherwise I will assume that you are making headway with your challenges too with the help of your support network, because you deserve love and support like everyone does -- lol.

      I am a heterosexual man so I feel a greater urgency to resolve all 'nasties' that might crop up with the kind of woman that I'm attracted to (who's also attracted to me for most of the time, but then they piss me off sometimes, just as I piss them off sometimes). I suppose a little bit of pissing each other off is just part of life, but when some 'nasties' start spoiling an otherwise good to great relationship and neither want to walk away. I go on about male/female clashes because I don't want to live happily ever with a man (different problems !!).

    • I DO have problems with MALE MANAGERS -- especially senior ones -- and I'm working on this, but this is a completely separate matter. I want to solve male/female happy ever after problems -- and is we help LGBTQ at the same time that will be great !!

      So my questions still stand...

      Why are women such hard work for some men?
      Why are men such hard work for women?
      (I hope that you don't disagree that men and women are somewhat different other than in their naughty bits -- perhaps you can tell me what some of these important differences might be -- such as difference that I might not be aware of and therefore not taking into account).
      Does it have to be this way?
      Do some women find some men equally hard, or more so?
      (or are there absolutely NO useful stereotypes because every person is so so unique?).
      Do women have corresponding complaints against men?
      What is the OVER-ARCHING THEME when women are complaining about men,
      or when men 'throw a whole bundle of issues' at women?
      Thanks again.

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