My partner and I have been together for 8 years. The past two years have been very damaging. He got bored sexually, so persistently suggested threesomes. We ended up having one with another man. He even said that we could go solo after he got bored with the threesomes. This really damaged us. I couldn't believe he was so bored of me that he would let me sleep with other men, and he had pent up jealousy about the whole matter. Finally he exploded and we ended all sexual relations with other people. By this point I already felt very distant from him. And honestly it felt good. I was confident again and that's when I realized how much his verbal abuse actually affected me. For a while I just believed he was right and all the things he said were true. I even ended up telling him that my feelings for him have changed dramatically. Although I still loved him, I no longer had romantic feelings for him. He was upset and started trying to be better while I also tried to be better. Then I made a horrible mistake one night. Our friend came over (one we had previously slept with) and we all were drinking. My partner fell asleep and we ended up going behind his back and sleeping together. I felt terrible. I told him and he was upset. He made me give back my ring. (We were engaged). And he threatened to take our kids and get full custody so I could never see them. I was heart broken. I knew I hurt him terribly, but to take away a 2 and 5 year old from their mother? I may be a terrible partner, but I am not a terrible mother. So now here we are. Trying to patch things up because neither of us know what we want. He says some days he wants to leave and some he wants to stay and I feel the same. However, the only reason I want to stay is because of my kids. I don't want to lose them and I don't want to lose his family either.