This is a question that popped in my head today just when I went grocery shopping and bumped into an ex...
I don't get it, I live very close to him but I haven't seen him in nearly half a year but now when I finally feel like I am over him I bump into him all the time. And every time it hits me hard. All the feelings rips me inside. I have to say our relationship never really was serious but there were serious feelings and we went in a rollercoaster with them. He wanted something else and I wanted something else and shit happened. I think it hurt me more, but how do I know...
Yeah, but back to the topic!
After you finally feel healed again how do you feel healed when you meet them? How do you behave normally? I can't and I don't know if it helps after I have seen him so many times it becomes a norm... do you think it is possible to ever feel normal when you meet the one person who messed you up real bad?
- You get used to itVote A
- It will hurt a whileVote B
- Maybe it never really stopsVote C
- DunnoVote D
- OtherVote E
Most Helpful Guy
The following worked for me:
# Step 1
The first thing I do is accepting I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light.
# Step 2
I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.
# Step 3
I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting to win her back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.
# Step 4
I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.
# Step 5
I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.
# Step 6
While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.
# Step 7
I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.1
Most Helpful Girl
I just detach and move on. If I see him out and about, it might be awkward in the beginning, but eventually I just really don't care.2