Girls, Whats the insight to all of this?

Texting my ex was like pulling teeth, he would sometimes reply with one word answers. I tried to keep the conversation going even if it was on a repeating cycle. It felt very one sided, I tried to keep the conversation going and he was just pulling back a lot.
"Listen, I don't think its right we continue to talk.
Im going to be away from you for at least 4 months, I don't think I can keep up whatever this thing we have up for that long. When we text, its like that spark we had is gone. I feel like the things we talk about are on a revolving cycle. When we video chat, its a few occasional jokes followed either with me trying to make conversation with you, or silence just looking at eachother. That's cute and all and I enjoy that, your so fucking beautiful to look at, but I think we both know this isn't working out Dana.
I felt this for a while, and didn't want to hurt you in any way, but i'm really causing a problem for both of us by not saying this.”
those words hurt especially when we had chemistry with one another.
a week after no contacting i attempted to get a second chance because i didn't want to lose what i had with him.
He constantly ignored me
I ended up lashing out at him out of anger & emotions, saying "if you're going to act this ignorant and ignore me then there's no point, go **** yourself". After that statement he blocked me on everything social media. I realized I shouldn't have done that and I regret even saying that. I sent an apology through another source of communication, a month after the break up, he read it and ignored that and still has me remained blocked.
It's been three months since then maybe more but I'm still torn about it all.
I feel like I'm in the worst situation. Im humiliated to try and fix this shit but its not working out at all. he still has a grudge against me.
Mind you there was no cheating involved. This blows
Girls, Whats the insight to all of this?
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