I miss him so much and I'm not sure how much more I can take?

Boyfriend of five years and I broke up in June as he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. I think he was stressed/depressed due to work issues and started taking it out on our relationship. He has cut me off since, not one word out of him. I have tried lots and doing no contact now on day 18 trying to leave him alone as obviously being alone is what he wants. Breaks my heart so much and I just want him to reach out even once would be nice. It's just weird thinking he won't speak to me again and we was about to buy a house together, even had a house offer down.

I just really miss him and keeping busy and working on myself etc just isn't working.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry you're going through this, as I have had the same sadness of being left/cut off by the girl I love... for 10months. And each day hurt really bad.

    Moving on was the most advice I got!
    Time was probably the second.
    Work on yourself was probably the third.

    Hated it all, and everyone that fed me the same advice. Didn't help. I was in misery &I all anyone could give me were generic answers that pretty much still left me, never knowing if she'd talk to me again.

    Here's what I'm going to tell you, NC is what will probably help you. IT WILL be hard, very hard. But congrats on making day 18. I always use NC of 21-60 days ", 60 being the most extreme of course. It won't help much, but at least having a set time frame will give you some strength in this.

    Now in this time frame, you will be working on yourself, it's cliche, but needed. You will better work on your
    -wealth (finances, financial stability)
    -health ( workout, better body, eat healthier)
    - relationship ( small amount of time each day to figure out what might've caused the split)

    It will be very hard! I do want to stress that. It's never easy having someone leave you in confusion and sadness. I could barely survive a day, heck, every minute, every damn hour was a struggle. Every pic, tv show, memory, similar name, made me tear up.

    Now once day 45-60 hit! I'd be surprised if he hasn't reached out by then. But if he hasn't, this is when you will be reaching out. It gives him and you time. And if you've been working on yourself in all 3 areas, you will be well prepared for contact to get back your lover of 5years.

    • Yeah...
      Problem is..
      1) Wealth - fine, just started a new job and I earn quite a bit more money than him and on a career path to earn £££, about to finish an exam too
      2) Health - This is something I need to focus on once my exam is done. I want to get back into fitness etc. At the mo I am just calorie counting, but I want to get back into exercise etc once my exam is done
      3) Relationship - Trust me I thought about the relationship way too much in recent weeks!
      4) Other - I want to change all my wardrobe and do something new with my hair to go with point 2 (weightloss) - but I don't want a new wardrobe until I have lost the weight, so they all go hand in hand. By this new wardrobe stage I should be a lot happier.
      5) Friendships are fine, I have lots of people around me but independent too so just get on with stuff. I have nights out planned etc. Doesn't mean that my nights at home are any easier.

      I don't get how he can just not speak to me again, I haven't done anything wrong... xx

    • Show All
    • That's pretty much the point I was trying to go for. Focus on the things you have some control over, basically points 1-5. Because unless he tells you. You will just go "mental" trying to understand his actions.

      But, usually in these cases, I've found it to be a simple matter of backtracking.

      There was usually signs from the SO leaving before leaving. Let's try..:did he have hesitation about moving to this new place? Is this the first time you guys would be living together?

      We're arguments frequently going on?

    • We weren't arguing, even said that when I tried to speak to him. He was showing his parents the houses and wanted them to come and view them was showing them to his work colleagues and was happy we got our mortgage in principle. Yeah first time living together but I would have been happy to rent for a year to see how we went. He changed when we were looking at houses then suddenly found out he could lose his job, which he didn't in the end anyway. But at the time that's when suddenly he didn't know what he wanted and cut me off. He is away for work a lot and as someone else has gone he will be away even more. Rather than speaking to me about it, simply cut me off.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just give yourself time and you should get over this.

  • people deal w/ the death of loved ones all the time.

    you'll live.

  • You'll get over him soon, its gonna be long time though


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