Should I end it while I'm ahead?

I met a man on a dating website back in Jan. He was looking for a person to have a good time with, and distress from his work life etc, I was more looking for a long term thing, however given my situation (lots of stress from career and children) I decided to test this "friends w/benefits" idea out. It is a challenge for me because I tend to get attached quickly, but that is usually when the man is not being 100 with me, for instance saying he's ready for me but doing all types of things behind my back. This man has been completely honest and up front, but I think the more time we spend together the harder it is becoming to stay emotionally unattached. It is requiring a lot of self control and self evaluating to re grasp the concept of "friends w/benefits". There are also subtle things he is doing that makes me think this could potentially turn into something more, like he gets disappointed if I don't communicate w/him via phone(I like texting its easy and less formal) and the big kicker was a conversation dealing w/us and who is benefiting more, -anyway I asked him if he was ok with me talking to other men, he then asked me if I was or if I wanted to-the answer was no. His answer was he would be touched (upset) but he would get over it and deal, he went on to say men get possessive just as females even if they don't want to be. So should I end the intimate part of this before I get in over my head or wait and see if it does turn into something a little more formal?


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  • Waiting for a man to commit while your are giving him everything and not having to commit to you, you might be waiting for a while.

    Don't do that to yourself, you are prize and he should know that. We all get busy with life and stressed, its no excuse anymore. There is a saying that we can't choose who we love, well that may be true but we can always choose how we love others and how others love us. He might be bothered by a few things you do or don't do with/for him, and the arrangements you two have but he has no right, you are not his? If it was the other way around and he said he could only continue if you commit to him, you would jump on that. We all would. But until you are his, do not let him "run" you like he already has you. Because once he feels that he does, he doesn't have to commit to you. So my advice to you is to be fearless with this one, you may lose him for wanting a commitment but you deserve one... Don't settle for less, because when we do, we can't blame the man for taking advantage or us, we let him! Be strong and confident, that's sexy to anyone. You want to be able to walk away on your own terms not his, please do not wait for him to come to a discussion, make it for him. You are a woman who deserves love, consuming, inconvenient, can't live without each other love, if you can't get that from him. Stop wasting your time with him. It will only set you back and make you feel low, not something you want. Good luck.

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  • Talk to this man and find out what he wants. If you both want a relationship I would say have one. If there are differences in opinion and you crave the relationship more than just a sexual hookup when it's convenient then yes I would cut ties. You need to know if he is interested in you for long term commitment and you should be the one to ask HIM.

    Best of Luck

    ~bnwsmile

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