Should I leave him?

I have been having trouble with my partner for over a year now.. There's been so many broken promises, his been possessive and controlling and over all I feel I've fallen out of love with him. I've tried to leave him in the past but his BEGGED me to stay. I want to stay and reconcile but after 3 years of ups and downs I feel I'm better off single. I can't hurt him though, what should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry for what you've been through.
    you won't be a different happy person if you keep that kinda person and that relationship in your life. you keep failing cuz you don't give yourself enough right choices for leaving.
    leaving is the best option to know the value of yourself and to start appreciating your feelings in the first place.

    just don't believe everything you hear and believe half of what you see.. now this relationship become as a mirage... which mean you won't reach it.
    make your happiness more important than him and go out to enjoy life... cuz the only person who can make things right is (you).

    Good luck...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Possessive and controlling partners are NOT good news. It may only get worse over time, and who knows what kind of behaviors he may develop (more then just verbal abuse). I know it's more complicated then someone on GAG saying just leave, because I'm sure you love him, but it sounds to me like your best choice would be to leave. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean they are healthy for you or that you should be with them. No one deserves to be treated the way you are being treated, and if you are experiencing "red flags" now, who knows what he will do the future.

    Take this from someone who has been in a similar situation. There are better fish in the sea. The person I am with now is the complete opposite of my jealous and controlling partner I had. He's great, and if I had stuck around and just accepted that partners behavior, I would never have met my perfect match.

    If you can leave you should, but don't beat on yourself if it's more challenging then it looks. It always is when emotions are involved. Good luck!

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    • Thanks for sharing! It is making me feel less guilty about these thoughts!

    • Show All
    • I forgot to mention the fact we have a 1yo son together. This obviously made me stay longer and is a massive pull for me to stay..

    • That definitely complicates things. That makes my empathy for you even deeper. I'm sorry. I hope you don't feel like by saying what I said that I was judging you. I most certainly am not. I just don't like to see anyone, male or female, struggle in an unfair relationship, so I am going to encourage any person in that situation to get out. My therapist once told me that controlling and abusive partners tend to go after kind and caring women because that way they are receiving love and they don't have to give back. Obviously you still care about this man, or you would not still be there. Your child is lucky to have a mom that cares so much.

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What Guys Said 4

  • What should you do?

    The answer is obvious, you should break up with him. Logically speaking that is the best decision, I mean you yourself said that he has been controlling, possessive which is never a good thing, not a good partner to have , you said have fallen out of love with him and the past 3 years have been up and down for you. Hence looking at the facts it's best you break up with him.

    Don't not give in to his mind game, begging the other partner to stay is a common mind game. Don't let your emotions, feelings take control over you.

    You need to be mentally strong and do what you think is right, which I am sure you are already know what is the right thing to do in this situation

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    • Yeh I guess. Sometimes I just need clarity so I don't feel so shitty. Thank you for your response :)

  • Leave him you dont need that and you can do better!

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  • As a guy I would rather be told the truth about your feelings. It's not fair to either of you for you to stay for any other reason than you are happy in love. You both are probably miserable just going through the day to day. It's not easy to face that cold truth but it's one that I feel should never be a question. Like you said you aren't in love anymore and do not want to be with him. It's gonna hurt that's just part of the process. After a little time passes he'll appreciate what you did for the both of you. I'd never want someone to stay with me if they felt that way. So 100% telling him exactly how you feel and you have already decided about breaking up. Good luck wish you both luck

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    • I have told him numerous times but he says he
      Can't live without me and doesn't care that I'm falling out of love with him. I've been nothing but truthful to him but he doesn't want to hear it, that's my main issue

  • leave

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well you said yourself your not happy. Either way your going to hurt him. Why waste more time being unhappy when he can find someone whose happy with him and you tok

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