3 very up and down kind of years everyone... Him (M) and I (F) are both 23 years old. There was a point where things became too unhealthy and I decided to break things off just about 2 months ago. I left loving him. The break up was messy: back and forth, confusion, not knowing whether what I did was the right thing, going back to him, him breaking up with me, trying to convince me to "fight for us" and then it all came crashing into a bigger bottomless pit when he told me how dissapointed he was in me, etc. , i said goodbye, he said goodbye and that was it.
Fast forward to today, 2 months later, I'm just focusing on myself. I admit, I miss him. And I don't want to get into anything else with anyone else until I know that I am past the post break up issues. After all, we were very much in love with each other. And yet.. he has already found someone else (yes I have searched him on social media, I know, I know.. stop doing that, I'm trying my best) and it really sucks to know that after 3 years, 2 months after our break up, he has already found someone else.
Why is it that after 3 years, I'm the one who's having more trouble letting go while he has already moved on?
Words of advice would be appreciated, thank you in advance :)
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think you can assume he doesn't care. People deal with things in their own way, sometimes they use 'fun' to blot out pain. How people are seeming to cope is scratching the surface of what's happening privately.
But anyway, it sounds like this is about you more than anything. You spent so much time together, so much formative part of your life, that it is bound to hurt and take time to adjust. Looking him up isn't healthy, or better to say, it won't do you any favours. Hence my meme :P
So this is more about you. And finding ways to strengthen yourself. So you can be more independent. Having things that are important to you, your career, your relationships, your hobbies, your health, some outlet within which you can put your energy, that had perhaps been hitherto neglected? This is the way to go, I reckon. It's natural to want to look back. But I really think shifting your focus forward will make you feel better in the long run. There's a real risk of 'stuckness' and 'de-powerment' otherwise, which eventually you will have to break out of, one way or the other!0