Breaking off engagement? Lost trust? New love?

in 2012, i found out, saw his messages on Facebook, with his cousin.. a year before we dated, they were flirting. "You looked really nice in your red shirt chey" or "im jealous because girls are flirting with my man" he then says aww wish u were here so i could cuddle you, bla blah. Then want to kiss her lips.
Years past, i think i saw her at the hospital her, his uncle was being treated. They hugged and stuff, to much. I figured they haven't seen each other in a while. But then i felt jealous, which is silly, they're cousins. Anyway moving on. He cheated online with another girl. Big fight. Something about sex problem he has but made no effort to fix. Month past, we try to make it work. Everything is fine. But my trusts was broken.

Talked to a guy friend online, i had a tiny crush on before but avoided because loyalty, told him things and he was way to worried for me blah blah. Told him we're fine now but he thinks i should leave, also tells me he's fallen for me. I was like omg. So we got tp know each other more and I've never met anyone who has way to many common likes with me or act like i do. Way to much a sweetheart. Etc. Talk on phone, but then i tried pushing him away now, built my wall. He was upset. Tells me he'll leave me alone. warns me about my fiance and saying red flags every where. But i felt like im cheating too so thats why. I've never cheated before.

Then i see my fiances Facebook, he was talking to her again. She wanted to hang out with him, he agreed. they video called "lol nip slip" he hasn't told me anything.. I've fallen for this guy friend.. And i want to leave fiance, we argue a lot, he can be mean but then nice.. or calm. i dont trust him anymore. Now he's being to nice for some reason I don't know why. Also if it wasn't for the guy friend pushing me to go to hospital, i wouldn't have known i had kidney stones.. Fiance was more worried about bill than about me. Told me to wait till Monday. It was on Saturday... Advice?
by the way, im 22. I've been having bad anxiety, bad chest/breathing problems ever since i found out. And how id break it to him? Or how his mom will handle it, we live with her. And pay rent. She is paying off debt. I also wonder, since his cousin now has a boyfriend.. and he seemed jealous, being to protective of her. That he's replacing her with me. She seems a little bit like me. 😑
Btw! We were to be married by next year. October 14th. 2017.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yea you shouldn't be taking vows in a relationship like that


What Girls Said 1

  • He's indulging in his cousin and you already lost your trust in him... It doesn't seem like you guys have anything left to save. Especially when you say "We argue a lot and he can be mean". I don't know about you but its seems much better to me to be with someone you don't argue with and is nice and respectful to you. Also, don't forget the most important thing, you're JUST engaged. You aren't even married yet. The engagement period and a test run before the actual commitment of marriage. This is the time to workout all the bumps, money, living, compatibility, trust, honesty, chemistry, etc. So if its going this way NOW, I can bet you it won't be better just because you guys are married. Your fiancĂ© is walking a fine line with having you by his side and using his cousin as a little play thing and i can guarantee that behavior isn't going to stop just because you guys get married.

    • Makes since.. what is your take on him suddenly being to nice to me? I've been laughing at times texting the guy friend i mentioned and he kept going over and bothering me, trying to be affectionate, saying he's just giving me attention? Lol

    • My take on that is that it is for the moment. Then later on once again he'll be back flirting with his cousin. His behavior is too inconsistent for me to trust.

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