Tell me about your bad breakup stories and how you moved on?

I just went through a bad breakup and sometimes I feel a little alone. None of my friends have been through anything like this, so the fact that I'm not relating to anyone makes it even harder.

My story: I met my ex via social media. Weird, I know. We just hit it off and decided to meet. I am from New York and he is from Chicago. After about 6 months of traveling back and forth he moved to me in April 2015. We had a roller coaster relationship with lots of high highs and low lows. But I loved him. We have troubled pasts and decided to go to therapy separately to better ourselves. We signed a lease together and were going to move in on August 1st. After deliberation we decided it was a bad idea, and we wanted to postpone living together and strengthen our relationship through therapy before making that leap, so we cancelled our lease. Two weeks ago I went on a girls weekend with some of my friends, and the second I got back he really abruptly dumped me. I knew we had issues, but we were working on them, and we both wanted to make it work. Part of me saw it coming, because he was really weird with me the day before I left. He ended up dumping me on August 1st, the day we were supposed to move in together. He keeps his social media VERY private and only adds people he knows well. After unfollowing me and deleting all pictures of me, he began following this random, local gay guy that I have never heard of before. I know all of his friends and coworkers... but this guy was a mystery. There were some signs that he was gay during our relationship, and I am wondering if this is something he was hiding from me. I had confronted him about it in the past and he said there is no chance he likes men. Why would be move all the way over here for me if he liked men? Did he ever love me? Did he cheat on me with this guy? What the FUCK happened to this man that I loved? He won't even talk to me. After nearly two years of dating, I realize I never knew him.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I've fortunately only had one breakup; it happened almost 2 weeks ago. Fortunately, there was no fight, just an agreement that we shouldn't be together. However, I didn't get a chance to say how I really felt, because as you said, even though I was dating this person, I never really KNEW her.

    Anywho, moving on has been really tough. Like, REALLY tough. Especially with the mental health issues I already have, it's like a pounding in my brain I can't get out, that I could have saved the relationship, but I gave up on it. The biggest thing: DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. Don't blame the other person either. Don't blame anybody. It'll only make things worse. I personally set a mindset for myself to "hit the open market", per se, or at least to find someone who is willing to get very close to me (whether it be just close friends or into a relationship), and going from there (this is keeping my mind off of her by replacing her with someone new). I've already got a few people who I know are interested, and can do so. I'm currently working on figuring out which relationships to keep, and which to stop while they're ahead.

    So that's my story. Hope this helps :)

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  • How did this ex manage to impress you in the first place?

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What Girls Said 1

  • My boyfriend broke up with me right before we were supposed to have sex. This was because of his mom, she thought I was too young and threatened to kick him out if I even talked to him. Looking back on it I was too young but thats not how I felt at the time. I messaged his mom on facebook and said a lot of nasty things... but anyway, it just takes time. It took me about a year to get over it, you can't speed up the healing process

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