Should I break up with him?

So my boyfriend of 3 years was taking a sexual assault survey and it asked "Do you know how to identify a sexual assault victim and what to do?" And he says he does but he shouldn't have to "Because these clever girls think that they need alcohol to have fun. And then they cry because they were taken advantage of. I'm sorry but you put yourself in that scenario."

He's strictly talking about when alcohol is involved because he's 100% against alcohol. And I get that, but I don't think he's being fair. What he said really bothers me, but is it enough to break up with him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol. If all women who had drunk sex claimed it was rape. There's definitely a grey line here between the women who were actually sexually assaulted and the women who just have sexual regret.
    He has a point, and you can't actually be serious about breaking up with him just over that. I dislike alcohol myself and I think people should be more responsible with it themselves. So today drunk sex is rape and tomorrow drunk n drive will just be an accident? No, a person must live within their limits. If they are inhibited, get into fights, cause accidents and have casual sex and blame the other party. I can't take them seriously. Like ever.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on how strongly you disagree with him. If you don't think this is something you can forgive and see past, then maybe breaking up is whats right for you.

    As for what he said, I personally think it is crap. I am a rape victim.
    I was at a friends birthday and I drank too much, mostly because I didn't realize how strong the drinks were. It hit me so hard all at once. I couldn't stand or think and I wanted to go home because I was afraid I was going to die. My friend asked me if I wanted to go home with him and I said yes. I thought he was protecting me and going to help me get home and put me to bed... I didn't know he was referring to sex. He took me to his apartment, undressed me while I was half-conscious and raped me. I have the foggiest memory of it, but all I know is that he was on top of me and I couldn't do anything to get him off. He claimed he was trashed too. He said I gave consent. That was not consent because I didn't agree to sex, and he was way less drunk than I was. I never pressed charges. My friends didn't think it was a big deal either. I still feel so violated and it was 8 years ago.

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What Guys Said 3

  • i don't think you should break up with him without talking to him about it and explaining how that is upsetting to you

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  • That's a pretty harsh thing to say. Drunk or not, no one deserves to be raped.

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  • Really? I think your man is right. But do what you think is right.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Have you told him to explain what he meant?
    I get the feeling he stated that on the paper to indicate he hates alcohol or whatever he wrote.

    But I doubt he meant that he wouldn't actually try to help out the victims if he were ever to identify one.

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  • You should talk to him about how it made you feel. He sounds very misogynist for that statement.

    If the roles were reversed, and it happened to be a drunk man who ended up being robbed, he'd be making a big deal about it >:(

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  • Dunno

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