My ex broke my heart about a month ago and I can't seem to let him go. I'm in a really vulnerable place right now in my life. A lot of things just aren't going the way I pictured them to go. And then my ex dumps me telling me he no longer has feelings for me and he is embarrassed to be seen with me because I am so overweight. I am 5 feet and 140 pounds, i know I could lose 20 pounds. He always called me pig and fat. He was the first person I ever gave myself too. I was a 22 year old virgin before I met him. I gave him everything he could ever want in a girlfriend. I was very open to any sexual things he wanted me to do.
After 2 years of dating, he dumps me and gets in a new relationship 2 weeks later with a girl he always told me was just a friend. A month later, we ended up hooking up while he was still with that other girl. I didn't say no because I love him. I want him back. I told his new girlfriend and she threatened to never call them ever again because apparently my ex told her im some stalker. He has been texting me to hang out with him ever since and we always hang out and I beg him to take me back. We end up hooking up each time. I am a prisoner to my own heart. I am in love with this man. He was the first man to call me beautiful. I cry every night thinking how another girl is wrapped around his arms and I am all alone.
Most Helpful Guy
The person you are in such love with has no moral compass. He’s deceitful and without compassion for those he hurts, hurts deeply and badly and continues to take advantage of your vulnerable situation and mental-emotional state of mind. The level of his manipulation of you is beyond measure, and very much I hope you will take this advice to heart and cut him out of your life.
Believe me, granted; what I’m suggesting will probably tear at your heart even more, especially since he was your first in many ways. You gave him your virginity and you gave him your heart. You were open to anything he wanted to try sexually or to do to you, because you didn’t want him to give you up; you didn’t want to lose what you had. All of it normal and commendable on your part.
However, the reality of the situation is he doesn’t actually love you. For him to be doing the things he’s doing to you, he probably didn’t really love you at all even in the beginning. Harsh my words are, but I truly believe you need to hear this in a very straightforward manner. You are worth so much more than him and you deserve so much more. And that being said go ahead and cry your eyes out. Cry as much as you need to. Yell. Scream. Do whatever it is that you need to do, but get this guy out of your system, before he does something to you that can’t be fixed; emotionally and mentally speaking.
Don't you personally feel you deserve better than just the casual hook ups you've been getting when he feels he can give you the time of day? Don't be that negative on yourself.4
Most Helpful Girl
I am so sorry you were treated so poorly by this person. He obviously has no regard for your feelings (or his current girlfriend's!). I would move on. I know it really sucks to read but I promise you he doesn't love you. Men who love women do not treat them this way.
Women often feel resentful of men because of past experiences but, the truth is, they never really knew love in the first place. When men are in love, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt. Men make it very obvious when they love a woman. Men do not call the woman they love a "pig". It doesn't cross their minds! Men are wired to protect and cherish the woman they fall in love with.
Move on and find a man who loves you. Trust me, once you find a man who really wants to be with you, he'll jump on that "20 extra pounds" like it's his last chance at sex for the next century!2