Is this a breakup pain or I am way too obsessive about my ex?

We once brokeup and 4 months later got back together. When we were apart I was feeling down and I was really sad for 4 months long. (cried almost everyday ) Then we started our relationship again. 20 days ago we brokeup again and this was a real brokeup. But I can't get him out of my mind. Often, I find myself talking to him in my mind like he is next to me. Sometimes I still plan future about us. I can talk about him all day long. I lived this on our first brokeup and again I live the same things. Please help :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not over him and in your mind, you kinda praise him for the best man you ever met in your life. Perhaps you feel love and addiction maybe he's a good guy with strange requirements.

    You both split up together or you leave him or he left leaved you?

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    • I left him

    • He's not the best man I know it. It has just been something like a habit. I mean, You talk to someone for months and months then you never and ever talk to them again. It's kinda sad.

    • Time to grow up ;p

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is obsession. You need to work on trying to NOT think about your ex and moving forward with your life. Right now you are living in the past and sooner or later it will really damage you, whether that's being unable to have other meaningful relationship or drawing you further into delusions.

    You need to keep your mind busy and free of him. It's not easy and it has to be an active choice you make. Find hobbies to do or spend more time with friends or family. When he pops up in your head tell yourself to stop thinking about him and do something to distract yourself. Ask a friend to hangout and take your mind off of him. For some people it's easy to just eventually let go. Others have to put more work in to moving on after a breakup. You will definitely be the latter.

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    • The article you wrote is the things I try to do everytime but it is really hard. Omg really while I'm reading a book I find myself talking about the book to him in my mind. I'm really going crazy. This is really really hard.

    • It's going to take time and lots of practice. Being aware of what you are doing is good. When you do something you know is not helpful tell yourself to stop. Even if you have to spend 5 mins just going "stop stop stop" in your head. Stopping what you are doing and doing something else can help to. Go do an activity that you really have to concentrate on. No TV or reading or chores. Something that engages your mind and doesn't leave room for other thoughts. Eventually the interrupting thought will happen less and less.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It could be both.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's both. Breakups hurt so it's ok to hurt, but eventually we need to accept it. Was it his decision only to break up or yours too?

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    • That was just mine.

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    • No. I'm just sad.

    • Ok, then sadness will go away in time. What will also help is do things that bring you satisfaction and that have nothing to do with him, like hang out with friends, focus in your career, etc.

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