Is it normal to feel this intensely?

So this guy, we'll call him L, has been a good friend of many years. I had feelings for him from day one at age 15, though I denied it to even myself until 17. I'm 19 now. Professionally, he's been a big part of my life, and personally too the past year or two. We went in waves.

This past year as we went to college together, we got a lot closer. I wouldn't say we were best friends, but we trusted each other, enjoyed each other's company regularly, and helped each other out where we could. We were good friends. Drunk one night in May, we made out. That was my first kiss, though it certainly wasn't his. Regardless, I think he's liked me at least a little all this time. I don't know though. He doesn't communicate.

For some different reasons, our relationship got complicated. After things went down at our uni, the place I was recommended to transfer ironically was where he's going to grad. He didn't seem bothered by it at first, but now he's being distant again. I don't know where he's at. Frankly, it's not important. I need to do what's best for me. My question here is ever since I disrupted our nice closure, I've been banging my head against the wall. I forget that our kiss was actually months ago. I should be at least a little over it. But he's my first love. He's the first guy that I'd have given my life for. Overdramatic? Yeah, I am...

My head is so wrapped up in him, and trying to get over him is making it worse. Is it normal to feel this strongly?


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What Guys Said 1

  • This feelings is usual for first timers, but with time you grow over it. Develop inner maturity.

    • Well I hope it happens soon :P I have other shit to focus on lol

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes , you just really love him , aww

    • Yeah, it's unfortunately true ;P

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