After a bad break how do you continue?

After more than 3 years together my (now ex) girlfriend decided to leave me for my (also now ex) friend. How do I continue my life when I can't remember what being a single person is? How do I not carry over trust and intimacy issues in the future? How do I not late hate consume me?
This was almost two months ago and I'm feeling just about the same as I did on day one.

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What Girls Said 2

  • hey there, wow, if i could give you a big hug i would right now. this is real crap, pretty much down there with some of the worst things that can happen. RIGHT NOW THATS ENOUGH DOWNER, you are asking questions which although understandable are the wrong ones because you are so effected emotionally and have been devastated your mind and thoughts are on a negative spiral. this is quite normal BUT you have to get a grip of yourself right now. and i do not mean stiff upper lip like stuff, i mean this, these people have created a traumatic life event that has effected you in a negative energy sense. you cannot let that continue to exist, giving it power to destroy you because you shouldn't even be in this place. you only need to be you and heal yourself from the rip in your soul that has been created, you are a human being quite simply completely able to be single, you can continue to trust in people exactly the same way you have always done and you are not a hater, in this statements i dont know you but i am correct. the actions of these other people are the pure and simple reason you are now doubting yourself? and your character and your morals and your decency. frankly it is very upsetting to hear you are the same soul and this is your key to begin healing and regain your faith in yourself of who you are, of course i understand your ripped inside I've been there many times, so do not mistake my words as flippant or condescending, im trying to help honestly, im 45 and people still tell me im naive, the way i see myself, my soul, i trust people, try to see the best in them and promote it and for me i would rather be like this in life than a bitter twisted hater suspicious being even if i get hurt over and over until i die, xx the mere fact you are asking these questions and haven't dissed them in anyway i already know your a good one and the world needs souls like you, so dont let ANYONE EVER SHAKE YOUR SELF BELIEF xx

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  • since it is not a fairly short term relationship plus your ex left you for a friend of yours, its understandable that it takes longer than usual - but i would like to say do not set a time frame for yourself in order to force yourself to move on from it - let yourself to think through the whole relationship, with your ex and your friend, allow yourself to be sad and angry, and grieving the fact the relationship and the friendship is over, then the next step is move on.

    Everyone been in any relationship must have been gone through the ups and downs, you are not alone, so do let your close friends to acknowledge about it, they will come around, if there are people being supportive is always a nice feelings to have and probably will gain your trust on people again, it probably takes time but you will overcome this, its just matters of time.

    For me, i think the most productive thing i would is - do a lot of exercise, going to the gym, attend some gym classes or try out a new sport, exercise always have the best outcome, your time wouldn't be wasted, its better than spent your time and money on getting drunk and it would lead you become more depressing, exercise makes you looks fitter , healthier, and it boost your confidence, and not to mention working out would helps your brain creates endorphin which would makes you happier, when you are happier, healthier, fitter, it makes you feel like more confident, and eventually you would realize sometimes shit just happens. And this too, shall pass. so hang in there!

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