Was this a cold way to end a (VERY brief) engagement?

He travels a lot and text is the best way to keep in touch. I figured texting now was better than dragging it out. This is what I wrote:

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I'm dreading his response. Was this too curt? I don't know how else I could have phrased it.. :/
Updates:
If I waited to say it face to face I would have had to wait until next month because he is filming in LA until then.

We were supposed to get married in the beginning of October so I felt breaking it off two weeks prior would have been colder.
To clarify, this was all very rushed. He asked me on a whim, I said yes on a whim, he bought a ring, and said lets get married in Vegas.

We went in half cocked. Not to mention he was MUCH older

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think calling him would have been a better option. Ideal would have been face to face, but I can understand how that wasn't option. Calling him at least makes it as close to face to face as one can really get (without facetiming or skyping, but that may be kinda weird).

    I think that, on the whole, breaking off the engagement was a good idea, so in the long run it is a good idea. The entire engagement was pretty shakey at it's foundation. In the short run though, the methedology was a bit cold. It was a well-written text message, I just think calling would have been best. It may have give him more closure and have him move on faster.

    Heck, he may still want to call about it-- or at least, I imagine that'd be my response in his situation.

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    • Read a comment saying he said only to text while he is filming. I change my opinion on the matter. Since he was the one who set the communication kinda terms here, I'm inclined to say that, while texting is kinda cold, it makes sense given the circumstances. I think it was the best option of the worst.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Could you not have dialed his number and said all this. That's pretty cold to do it on text and I hear what you're saying about in person but that was probably the least personal way to end an engagement.
    You have to do what's right for you but wow. Ouch.

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    • If I dialed I would have gotten his voicemail. He is impossible to get ahold of when he's filming.

      Text is how we communicate. It's how he prefers I communicate with him.

    • Show All
    • It happens. While I do think it was cold for you to do it over text, from the sounds of it you had little choice. I think you could have pushed to talk to him BUT Id guess once you made your choice you just wanted to pull the band aid off and be done vs sitting around waiting for the call from him. I can understand that. And I can understand you trying to remove your feelings from the situation, and being cold.
      I still can't say that I can agree with how you did it But i think I do understand why you did it the way you did. For whatever that's worth.
      Good luck kid. 😉

    • Well he's so hard to talk to over the phone. He's a million words a minute so it's hard to ever get my word in. But I know I handled the whole thing wrong. Thank you for your opinion tho <3

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What Guys Said 17

  • Breaking off an engagement by texting is very cold. Under your circumstances, by phone would have been better.

    The two of you were about to get married "on a whim". I have no idea what preceded all this between you two, but apparently you hardly knew each other. So the break off is for the best.

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  • I don't understand your reasoning. Don't worry about him. Sh... Believe me you can be replaced quickly with another woman. But if you didn't feel your ready to really settele down yet , then that's up to you. Maybe it was a good idea for you to break off the proposed idea. Does sound as if your quite ready yet.

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  • Honestly this entire thing was crazy from the get go ending it however was the quickesr way was fine. It was completely ridiculous for him to ask you to marry him in the first place you weren't even dating. This seems fine.

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  • you ended an engagement via text?

    Yes this is very cold. he deserves at least a phone conversation but really this should be done face to face

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  • There is never s good way doing that
    You did your best
    That must have been hard
    How do you tell someone your planning to marry that you never want to speak again though

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  • I think its cold, i would have liked a phone call at lease but i think it was probably the right decision he was much older and a fast wedding isn't smart

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  • You should of done it face to face wtf. He's going to think you don't care about him enough to say it to his face

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  • Your relationship was cold itself. Ending it up should of course be cold. You didn't do anything wrong

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  • I think you did that very well knowing the circumstances. How have you been holding up hun?

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  • That's certainly very direct. Wow.. I would definitely break an engagement off face to face

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  • Your life is always an adventure!

    Id always recommend calling.

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  • Breaking it off via text is spectacularly cold.

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  • Yes, it was a very cold way

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  • how much older? i like a 23 yr old so i ask lolol

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  • Are you asking this question seriously?

    Because you must know in your heart it was an especially cold + cowardly thing to do !!

    You could at least have had rhe decency to phone him to tell him.

    And then to say to him you don't think it's wise to have any further contact is extra nasty... you allow him no closure at all.

    Perhaps karma will hit you coldly one day if someone you fall in love with breaks up with you this way.

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  • wtf how are you able to update four times?

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What Girls Said 8

  • A phone call would have been more respectful... but what's done is done. I don't think it makes you a bad person. Better than leaving him hanging at the altar! But yeah, breaking it off via text was pretty inconsiderate.

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    • I meant the actual content of what I was saying. If a phone call or in person would have been doable I'd have done. He has specifically asked me to communicate only via text when he's away filming.

    • You didn't say that in your description or updates.. just that texting was easier.. still tho, I imagine in this particular circumstance he'd have probably preferred a phone call..

  • I'll marry him, send me his deets 😏 He sounds perfect to me. Haha but I don't think it was that curt. You said what needed to be said and you were honest, I respect that.

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    • While I agree by text is quite cold but if it's how you communicate - like me and my ex - then it's normal for you guys.

  • That sounded really asinine, yeah. Obviously you shouldn't stay engaged to someone you don't love but that was a pretty awful way to break it off.

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  • You should have flown out to where he was or at least called him. As far as what you said that was fine, but it should have been delivered in a different way

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  • I don't understand why you're breaking off an engagement? What happened?

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  • Omg you are so mean

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  • Super cold and mean

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  • It was a little bitchy. Why not wait to see him in person, or even CALL him?

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