My ex and I haven't been In contact for about 6 months. I've recently contacted him as I really want him back in my life.
His now seeing someone else and said that we can just be friends...
I agreed and am making a go at showing him how much I've changed.
( we broke up due to my insecurities and issues)
his told me that he is going on holiday with this girl but isn't sure if he will carry things on with her...
My basic situation is that I'm struggling SO bad at being ok with him being with another girl let alone going away with her. I love and miss him more than he could imagine ( he knows how I feel ) and I feel like I'm hurting myself by smiling and pretending.
Shall I leave him to his own devices and should he end things with this girl he can come and talk to me.. Or shall I carry on being friends with him and silently handle the pain I have to endure whilst they are together.
This has been seriously shortened as long explanations never get read. Thanks.
Most Helpful Guy
I can understand this. In my view I think you can do either of the two, that is you can be friends with him but then you will have to devise a way so that you don't suffer the pain of being friends with you ex. However it is not a suggested option.
Hence the best you shouldn't contact him at all and wait for him to end things with her and come back to you.
Given the fact you mentioned that he isn't sure that he will carry things on with her means you have a chance, there is a chance that he might come back to you.1
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, if it hurts you to see him with another girl (which to me seems totally reasonable) then why put yourself in that situation. TBH it's okay to want to be on good terms with him. But it already sounds like you are.
If he doesn't see things continuing with his girlfriend, then that's great. But why not break up with her? There's a big difference between actions and words here. If he truly doesn't want to be with her and wants to be with you, then why isn't he with you?
I would be very cautious about allowing yourself to be the friend in this situation. It's possible he is just using you emotionally. You are familiar, and you two have a history. This new girl hasn't been with him as long. Which is fine. But just don't let this guy drag you along while he decides what he is going to do.
Go on with your life. Go out with guys, get some dates lined up. Make him know that you are not just available to him whenever he wants. Get a hair cut, some new clothes, treat yourself to some new make up or a bag. Go out and enjoy yourself.
Don't wait around for when he decides he is done with this girl. You are someone who has options too! You want something more. If he isn't willing to make you his girlfriend and leave his other girl, then you need to move forward with your life.1