I hit my boyfriend and I feel absolutely terrible how can I fix it or make it right?

Anonymous
for the most part we have had a pretty amazing relationship for 2&1/2 years. we usually are able to talk about our problems and resolve them in a kind peaceful manner. even when we do actually fight we talk it through afterwards and realize we either misunderstood where the other was coming from or took something the wrong way. we did hit a rough patch after we broke up for a few weeks and got back together. all of a sudden we fought often and without really working on the issues we were fighting about. a lot of our fights became repetive. he started acting indifferently towards me being upset as if he didn't care started shutting me out and being a complete asshole at times. this is around the time that I started calling him names when I'd get upset. I never reacted that way before and when I'd get angry or hurt my normal reaction was to go in another room to cool down and try to get ahold of my emotions. somewhere during that time I stopped doing that. the more he acted like he didn't care the more I'd get upset and finally instead of walking away to calm down I'd just get in his face and try to get him to talk and not shut me out. I'd got to where I grabbed his arms to try to get him to look at me instead of giving him the space and time to compose himself and myself as well. it finally got to the point where I could no longer take being treated that way. we had a very long talk about why I felt things had changed and that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he was treating me. he finally realized the things I'd been trying to tell him and get him to realize during those few months. he apologized for being so stupid and not seeing how him acting that way was negatively effecting us and how not talking about our problems anymore and just pushing me away to not deal with them was wrong. I also realized certain things I hadn't been doing anymore and how me trying to get my points across were the wrong way.
Updates:
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we both cried a lot and felt awful for the way we'd been acting towards each other without even realizing it. since then things have been so much better. we've gone back to how things used to be for the most part and we've each been working on the things we realized we needed to be working on. things have seriously been amazing until last week. I got blackout drunk and from what he told me I turned into an emotional wreck. I started crying for no reason or if there was one I wouldn't tell him.
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started getting physical and in his face yelling at him about how much he put me through and how I should've never taken him back. then I smacked him in his face a few times. I don't remember any of this. I've never hit anyone before ever and I've been pushed to that point several times. I'm still in shock that I did that and having a hard time processing that that even happened. I've never been happier with anyone in my life and I know I'm truly in love with him and this was the man I want to
I hit my boyfriend and I feel absolutely terrible how can I fix it or make it right?
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