How do you walk away from an emotionally abusive partner; when you love them?

I've been in a relationship for three years. I've only just realised that it is an emotionally abusive one. How do i walk away when i completely adore/love this person?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't understand how you can completely love/adore someone who is emotionally abusive to you or an abusive person as such?

    Logically it's not making any sense to me at all, according to me that is not possible. Emotions and feelings are so weird!.

    Anyways there are ways to walk away from an abusive partner. I'll post a link

    Hope it helps


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't want to scare you, but be prepared to need legal intervention just in case. Emotional abusers are "codependent", and need to bully others to feel okay in their own minds. He won't let you get away easily. But realizing that you need to leave is often the hardest part. They establish a cycle of abuse and over affection to train you into thinking that the abuse is normal. Get a counselor or therapist lined up for after you break away. The hardest parts are yet to come. You may end spending months agonizing over what *you* did wrong, what you did to *deserve* that treatment. You haven't done anything wrong, he's just really messed up and needs help but instead took out his issues on you. You need to be prepared to completely cut all contact and not give in to talk to him no matter what. He may try all manner of threats and guilt trip, don't buy into it. In the end you are not responsible for his feelings.

    • Im guessing you've got some experience with this? Just im pretty new to this all and im not sure if whats going on at the moment is part of the cycle you describe or not. Currently he's once again after numerous times of cutting contact and coming back telling me he loves me and he wants it to work, cutting me off. This time he's gone and got a new phone and number (he was due an upgrade) and not contacted me since leaving me in a state. This he's done before, like i said this has been going on for three years, he has a habit of pushing me away for months at a time then drawing me in again then the same thing happens again. When he's pushing me away he says what he knows can hurt me. He picks at my insecurities he's cheated more times than i can count, he would do things on purpose to make me insecure knowing the effects its having. I can be sat breaking my heart and it won't phase him but he tries to tell me he cares when his behaviour says otherwise.

    • Show All
    • Yes I have more experience than I should. I've been stalked, and raped, and victimized by 3 very screwed up males. Feel free to private message me. I'm not afraid to speak out about my trials, if only it can help someone else from having it happen to them.

    • Im using the app, can't find the function to message you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Walk away, No contact whatsoever. He'll get desperate once you do, and say do anything, but stay strong.
    You will find a lot better in the future

  • Just F... Walk away !! Simple , tear up and walk forward right out the door and don't look Back. Simple


What Girls Said 1

  • One of the hardest decisions to make is to walk away from someone you love , but you have to forget what you want , and remember what you deserve. You need to find the courage to let go of someone who doesn't have your best interests and happiness at heart

    There's so much more to a relationship than just love. Love is just a feeling , but a persons actions and behaviour towards you prove If that feeling is true or not. Someone who is abusive only has their own interests at heart. They are self-centred

    There comes a time in life when you have to stop jeopardising your own emotional state and well being. No matter how much you love him , your own happiness and emotional state should be paramount. I'd walk away and rebuild myself and my life. No one should tolerate emotional or physical abuse.


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