If I come out clean, will I look needy?

So a year ago broke up with my one and off boyfriend of 3 years because of his commitment issues. He was upfront and honest about it and so we proceeded to cut of all contact. 3 months later he started to reach out again through Snapchat. Let's say a snap every week and this continued for another 8 months. I never replied to any. Until he started to text me and became super rude about why I wouldn't talk to him or generally reciprocate anything. He has a girlfriend from 4 months after our initial breakup. So I thought it was absurd that he wanted me so much besides having a girlfriend that he hid from me for so long saying she's a friend. So I just kept giving him the cold-turkey and never showed him that his new girlfriend was killing me - everyday. I still never showed interest in him, going colder everyday. But it's to the point that I feel I'm going to die. I can't see him with someone else. I want to tell him everything, but I'm afraid what the outcome will be. I'll sound like a dramatic weak ass woman. But I'm dying. He's going so public with her lately and I'm like at my own funeral. Currently, a month ago we've had a good conversation finally after a year of me being cold turkey. It was like magic, we both fell into it and it was very flirty and romantic. But after a few days he pulled back - maybe because he's dating someone else. He became cold himself but still continues to Snapchat regularly and texts occasionally and I've been cold turkey ever since. I don't feel it's going the right way! Should I tell him upfront about how I feel or would I look like a weak ass woman?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't tell him how you feel about the going public of his new relationship. I won't say it can hurt or help really. I gather he's not the type to really consider how you feel. So it would only give him power in my opinion to tell him how you feel about it.

    Do you want your boyfriend back? Is that where this emotional agony you're feeling is coming from? Because you've know about this girlfriend for about 7 months now. I would think you would be ok with how things are now?

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    • I would never ever tell him that his relationship is affecting me. I was thinking of telling him how strongly I feel for him even now. Im madly in love with him and I've concealed it for so long pretending like I don't care at all!

    • Oh, hm... I see!! Well I'll be honest with you. Your timing isn't exactly gonna increase your chances here if you ask me.

      Before he was pursuing you, but now his relationship with the new girl seems to have been going good enough that he's taking it public and acknowledging the fact that you potentially can see him with her.

      Now there is a chance you tell him and he leaves the girl for you. Or you tell him your feelings and you get the talk of, he's with someone else, and it's best if you two go no contact.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like he's kind of jerking you around. Like he wants to keep you on his leash, on his terms. Personally I lean towards just cut him out of your life and get over him, but if you do decide to tell him and give him a chance, it'd be a zero-tolerance situation. If he shows any signs of his commitment issues again, or pulling away or whatever, I'd break it off and never look back.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Forget it. It'll never work. On/offs never work in the long run. Get over it and find someone else. You will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it so forget that too

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just tell him. He's been chasing for long enough

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