Is it his ego or love?

me and my husband have been together now for four years we just got married 3 months ago he's a very egotistical man I understand that however a week ago we had a fight a really bad verbal argument I got my stuff and moved in with my mom I hurt his pride by doing so we have a vacation planned. he is a very stubborn man he said he needs time I understand however our vacation is in 3 days and I told him if he left without me it was over he text me and said he wants me to go but we're not back together is that his ego talking or does he love me


Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion both of you need to learn to calm down, try to be a bigger person, and learn to cooperate and seek positive outcomes for each other instead of demanding what you perceive as fair treatment.

    Try not to be so hasty with words and actions. Do you really mean it when you say that if he goes on the vacation alone, it's over? Have you thought it through where you're okay with being single and without him and divorced all over that? If so, maybe you don't belong together.

    I don't know the nature of the verbal argument beforehand and it might have largely been his fault, but to me it's not healthy. It usually takes two to tango to escalate arguments to the level where you're moving out of the house, and that can cease and you can have a peaceful marriage if one or ideally both of you learn to deescalate conflicts by being a bigger person, calming down, and gently talking it out.

    In any case that's what I'd seek now if you care about him -- take a gentle, warm, level-headed tone and calmly and warmly discuss this vacation prospect.

    • thank you. 4 week we haven't spoken it has given me some time to realize I have a temper problem I just needed to know from a man's perspective. with my husband being so egotistical is he asking me to go with him because he wants me there I mean would he ask me if he didn't want to pursue the marriage

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    • It's not too late. A warm and gentle tone can always build mutual understanding and strengthen the bond between you two, even when times are rough.

      There's a training process to anger management where even if you are a very passionate and emotional person (love tends to bring out the most passionate side of us), you can train yourself to act differently even when you're feeling anger. You can't train yourself not to feel anger but you can, with some effort, stop and breathe, relax, and then even hug a person you're angry at and talk calmly.

      It'll generally have an effect which might even amaze you and it gets easier and easier to do each time you succeed in overcoming that temptation to give in to anger (the first few times are the hardest).

      Relationships tend to spiral downwards when both partners demand fairness and aren't willing to absorb a little bit of unfairness here and there because the perception of fairness is often subjective. Both partners will have their own view.

    • great advice thank-you

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its ego


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What Guys Said 4

  • Well it's just that he wants you to come as a friend perhaps and that's why he said he wants you to come but you both are not getting back together.

  • He just wants some sex on holiday

    • some people actually take love serious I was asking this question because I love my husband and now our relationship is about sex

    • I meant to say our relationship is not about sex

    • Just an opinion

  • Says you are 13. Are you in one of those pedo cults?

  • As couples mature they learn to give up individual rights and the only fights are for the continuing existence of the marriage relationship. Unless you're dealing with addiction or an affair, the only legit reason to move out is for your personal safety.
    A mom with more wisdom would kick your ass back home and tell you to quickly have some make-up sex.

    • we are both in our forties no children involved
      I really put a hit on his ego
      I know he loves me I just was kind of wondering from a man's point of you would you ask me to go with you if you didn't want it to work

    • In that scenario, I feel certain he must love you.

    • thank you

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