Breaking up on good terms is the toughest?

i just read this article on breaking up on good terms. It can not be anymore true to my situation. He broke up with me but I was not begging or anything although I do still want to be with him. It says freinds are shocked which in both cases ours was. they never saw the bu coming and neither did I. They say these are the hardest breakups as i do see it. There was no answer really given to me as he fell into stress an then one day said he was not feeling what he thought he should or that we were growing which before it happened everything was really good. I think this article is true. Do you feel the same? I do want to get him back but im not sure it will ever happen

"This kind of breakup is so tough because the lingering feelings don’t vanish right away and they may not ever go away completely. No one did anything catastrophic for it to end. I believe that these kinds of breakups can be the hardest to get over because the door is never closed; everything is still unresolved so there’s no way to really end your chapter forever. "
https://thoughtcatalog.com/katie-wilhelm/2014/08/what-happens-when-you-break-up-on-good-terms/

Updates:
Not saying this is the worst, of course every breakup is different and just as hard

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand and feel your pain. It is never easy breaking up, nor being broken up with. The deeper truth is, however, that nobody owes anybody anything, ever.

    I like the thought that it's okay to leave if it doesn't feel right. And it didn't feel right for him, and that's why he left. This doesn't mean it was a rational decision and that he was correct in doing it. But it is his prerogative.

    It's often that we want an explanation or reason why the breakup happened. However, this is nor warranted, not possible. I don't think you can explain any of your feelings. They happen, you feel the way you do, and that's it. I like the freedom this provides: it's okay to feel how you feel and you don't have to explain.

    I suggest you understand that he did what he did and then focus on yourself. Concentrate on what you like what you want in your next relationship. Don't judge him, just accept it. And don't listen what your friends have to say, it will just make you feel worse. However shocked they are... he did leave.

    I know this isn't easy and it will take practice. But you will get better.

    I hope this offers a bit of perspective and makes a bit of sense.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah it can be

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What Guys Said 2

  • Breakups themselves are tough in first place and yes breaking up on good terms is the toughest, I agree.

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  • Breaking up on good terms... I think it always leaves that "what if?" because neither of you did bad and it's confusing. These breakups take longer to move on in my opinion.

    And by the way. Do you think it's harder for the dumpee or the dumper?

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    • yes, you are right the what if is still there. What if we lasted longer how would it play out? I say that to myself everyday with this relationship since we connected with everything and then it sort of just ended as he became stressed and such. Although we were not together for long we had a deep rooted connection and he was someone I saw myself growing with. Sort of the one that got away and I don't know if we could ever have a second chance. Plus since we were still sleeping together since the bu and now he all of a sudden is changing his mind.
      I also think it depends I think in my case the dumpee has a harder time, but I can't say that for everyone because you never know how the dumper is feeling if they mask their feelings and never really say it.

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    • If you really believe in it and it's worth fighting for, go for it! I also belie she was the one, we used to "joke" on how we were soul mates. And pretty much like you, people around us would see us as a couple. So I wish you the best! And hopefully a good outcome :)

      I will take my time and do the same.

    • Thanks! I do really believe in it to fight for it or at least give it my best shot and tell him my true feelings. I am not the one to typically do stuff like this but I will considering this is how I feel. Good luck to you too!

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