30m losing 28f girlfriend. She doesn't say I love you or text me much anymore. Heartbroken, what to do?

Hi All, Been dating my girlfriend for the better part of 10 months now. She is a tough cookie and very hard to please. We had been in a hot and cold relationship for 8 months then she finally broke up with me. She came back two weeks later saying all the right things, and genuinely being awesome. We were 100% in love and said I love you each day. We hung out almost every day and had many talks about our future (kids, a home, etc.) Then we got into a fight. She was unfairly criticizing me and said I never listen to her or put her first. I'm human and have made mistakes, but I have never tried so hard at anything in my life. I was so hurt by what she said that I raised my voice towards her and brought up how she made me feel like an idiot in the past. I was not aggressive towards her though. She has been abused in the past, so has not been able to forgive me. I told her I love her and would do anything to make her happy. She doesn't love me right now. She says she has felt indifferent since then and that's why she's been distant. We're still together, but now we hang out once a week, and she doesn't seem to want me there half the time. I've apologized for my role in the fight and said all I could do was hope she can find it in her to forgive me. We're still in a loveless relationship since then (almost a month). Some days I feel like we're making progress, and then for no reason the next day she doesn't want even text me back more than once. What should I do? I'm so heartbroken.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm... seems like here the roles are reversed... You're playing the part of many women and she the part of a player who can't stand to be alone... She is with you because, at the moment, she can't find anyone better...
    I say good riddence - find someone who will appreciate you for YOU.
    She's over you... but also wants to leave you on the hook - for some reason.

    Move on - if you want to be happy.

    This won't change or last... it won't get better for real...

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    • Thank you for the mho and good luck!

    • Thanks. We are sitting down and trying to work it out on Monday. Seems like there are still feelings for each other. Not sure if we can overcome these hurdles.

Most Helpful Guy

  • she has a lot of baggage and blames u for her past abuse leave her

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    • That's pretty accurate, I think. She said yelling (remember I did this once in 10 months) reminds her of her parents constantly doing that as she grew up and doesn't want to be around that. She also said yelling makes her think she's going to get hit (I have never been aggressive towards a woman). Her abuse as a child makes it hard for her to forgive and forget.

      I can't win. I didn't do any of those things, but I'm held to them.

    • Show All
    • Thanks for your reply. I wish it were different for us, but I do think she needs to see someone. She definitely is sabotaging this.

    • dont waste your time
      she is 28 not young
      u 30 go find a good girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • " I have never tried so hard at anything in my life. "
    Exactly, you tried too hard. Stopped taking care of yourself, put her and the relationship ahead of your own wants and needs.

    And that turns women off.

    "I told her I love her and would do anything to make her happy. "
    Again, willing to DO ANYTHING. That's not being a man. That's being a slave, or a sexless eunuch. Or a parasite.

    No girl wants to be with a crying milksop heartbroken saddo.

    Think about what women are attracted to - strong, confident, wilful, men. Men with interesting lives and pursuits. Now take a long hard look at yourself.

    What attracts her to you? Nothing. You're relying on the existence of the relationship, to keep her in the relationship. And it won't. It can't.

    She has to be attracted to you, and you're too miserable and sad and heartbroken to be attractive to anyone.

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    • I hear your point. However, we had only one conversation, which I initiated where I put all that on table. Other than that, I've tried to remain positive, fun, and busy.

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