At the end of a long-term relationship, how long is a good time to wait before you start dating again?

I have, frankly, been a bit of a train wreck since she left me. I started drinking for the first time because it's the only way I've found to keep myself from dreaming at night. The dreams wake me up, and keep me from sleeping more than maybe three hours. I thought I was going to marry this woman. Spent too long walking a tightrope between her and my religious xenophobic family, hoping in vain to lay the foundation for a good relationship between her and them. I'd give anything to go back, shake myself, and tell me to go with her when it could have made a difference.

I'm clearly not ready to step into another relationship yet. Just wondering about others' experiences.

0|0
93

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was exactly in your position about two years ago. Got myself in a 6 year relationship with a man whom I thought was the one for me. Obviously, it did not work out and we broke up. It broke me apart but time heals all wounds. And even though it feels beyond impossible to get over it- you will get through. Sometimes we are stronger than we realize. Just make sure you surround yourself with positivity and improve yourself in the process. Keep yourself active and busy enough to not think about it. It is understandable to turn to alcohol- but it's not the wisest of choice.

    If you ever need a friend to listen or vent, I gotchu.

    2|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • It takes time to mourn a lost relationship. How long is totally based on each person. Some do what it takes to move on and some dwell in it. Your dreams wil subside when you have done the work to move past this. After a while, I started to see other women even though I didn't feel like it. I didn't compare these women to my lost love. That is never a good thing. The dating helped take my mind off my loss and give me a chance to be happy again. I've met a new lady that really help in that area. I will never forget my love for the girl I broke up with, but it's now something that doesn't bother me anymore. I now remember the good and don't think about the bad. You will be okay. While you are still having problems with sleep, have your doctor give you something to help you until you don't need it anymore. Drinking too much is never a good thing. I hope you get past this sooner than later.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • It all depends on when you're ready for a new experience and not always live in the shadow of your past. Let yourself heal, let it take time. In my experience, I tried to rush it and decided to jump into a new relationship within 3 months. Bad choice because I kept on relating to the past, which is unhealthy as well as unfair to the new partner I was with at that time.
    Some people take months, some take years. Whenever you're comfortable :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • whenever you feel you are ready..
    could b days... weeks... years.
    it depends on the relationship really.
    just b careful to not let urself b so vulnerable that u fall for the next girl/guy ur with.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've been single for two years now and have had ups and downs. I started dating 6 months after we split (we're together 3 years) however it was only because he had a new girlfriend and I didn't want to look like no one wanted me. That didn't work out and I've dated a few since and can honestly say I'm not over him however I think in time you'll be able to realise that when you don't hurt as much and can actually laugh and be yourself in company of others you start to think you're you again and can find someone else or even date see how it goes. You'll know when you're ready but i know I rushed mine for the wrong reasons but in hindsight didn't do any harm I suppose X

    0|0
    0|0
  • Til you've gotten over her. There's no set amount of time that that takes..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Until you have let go and you are fully ready to move on

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm going to give it to you straight. You mean dating liking casual dating or do you mean dating as in seeking a new relationship? I would start dating immediately but do so for companionship and all the goodies you get by dating someone from the opposite sex. But do not go out there and try to get into another relationship. Take a rest. Relax. Relate to another human being what to several just by being a guy who is nice. Who likes to go to a restaurant than the movies with a girl. Don't go out there looking for the next potential engagement

    0|0
    0|0
  • Give yourself 6 months to a year.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Think I also need to get away from the family in question. They refused to acknowledge the relationship for nearly a year because she wasn't Christian, fought with me constantly, took my key to their house, threatened to write me out of their will. After the break-up, less than a week after, I was being questioned by them as to how long I'd be moping about it. Feels like I haven't really been allowed to process the loss, have to slap on a fake smile for their sake to keep things on an even keel.

    • I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, you certainly need to get away from that because it's toxic for you. Is there anywhere else that you could go? Do you have family or friends to stay with until you get on your feet?

  • However long it takes you to feel emotionally stable.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • It is time when you no longer think about your ex, when you want to be with the other person instead of dating just anyone in order to avoid being alone, when your personality is out of that destructive phase where you feel the need to punish or feel sorry for yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Time isn't so much a concern as so much as when you're over it. It's different for each people as some people take longer to get over relationships than others.

    I've been rebounded before and it sucks but the girl in seeing now got out of a 5 year relationship but has yet to complain or say she misses her ex so until any of that happens, I have no reason to worry. Still taking it slow though.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...