me and my girlfriend broke up a month ago. long story short, I ended up in a brief financial crisis because I lost my job due to epilepsy. once her parents found out she was helping with our finances they freaked out and said that if she didn't leave me they'd take her car away, stop paying for her college, and stop ever helping her. weird thing she ended up moving into the apartment above me in a 4 Plex and it's hard to move on. I've heard she asks about me and I could tell she's not over me yet (even though she says she is) when we talked the other day. how can I open up her mind to how messed up her parents are being and fix things with me? I'm hurting here, I see her car next to mine every day and listen to her walking around upstairs. i dedicated my heart to this woman and I want her to see what her parents really did to her. what can I do?
Most Helpful Girl
I don't understand... how old is she that her parents have that much control over her? Do her parents live with her above you? If not, why doesn't she just see you and not tell her parents... I mean that's what I would do.0
Most Helpful Guy
I know it must be driving you mad to not know what's going on and to feel you had something taken away from you through no fault of your own. I think it's totally understandable that you want to fix it, fix her, and possibly fix her parents. Right?
The good news is that the solution is right around the corner and that it requires no scheming, strategizing, or physical effort on your part. In fct, you could do it sitting on your bed right now.
The bad news is that you have to give up being right and take total responsibility for what's happening in your life. Sounds interesting? Then read on...
Firstly, her parents did what they did because they felt this would make them, and probably their daughter, happier. They honestly felt this was the best solution. This is where they are on their path, and it's perfect that they're there. I'll come back to why, in a bit.
Secondly, you don't really want your girl back. I know it feels hor-ri-ble right now but give it a little time and be totally honest: do you really want a girl who leaves you because of fear of material possessions being lost? I don't think so. You probably want a girl who will stick by you in thick and thin. Again, this is where she is on her path and it's perfect that she's exactly there. And in just a second, I'll explain why.
The third thing you must do, and this is sort of the Segway into how you can solve all your problems is that you must stop blaming everybody else, and circumstances, for what went down. It's not that I don't believe they did what they did. It's that as long as you're playing the part of the victim, you cannot move. After all, if you're just like a cork on the river, you have no control, right? But you're forgetting that you have 100% control over your mind.
Try exploring a bit of different thoughts around this whole thing like:
"I'm sort of lucky she left now as opposed to when we have three kids together. I'm glad I found out she wasn't really a good match. If she were, she would have stayed no matter what her parents said."
"This is kind of a blessing in disguise. I now know much more in detail what I want in a woman. No other way to learn this."
"My epilepsy is a good thing really. It helps me find the people who are really dedicated to me. the rest quickly leave"
Does this make sense or do you think it's crazy?0