I'm glad I left an emotionally abusive relationship, but there were a few good moments that I would like go back to and experience all over again. He made me so happy and excited because he would text ne 'morning' everyday, and he asked how my day was. When we were going somewhere he would let me rest on my shoulders and he loved to make me laugh when I was crying. He said we would be together forever until death and he'll marry me. We picked out names for our children - as a joke.
There are some parts though that make me not regret the decision to break up, he was controlling and a hypocrite. He checked my phone but got mad and called me a liar when I checked his phone. He threatened to shoot me with his bb gun if he caught me cheating. He was pretty rough physically too. He also stopped trying to resolve conflicts and he put all the blame on me by saying how I didn't put in effort. Even though I bought him things that he liked and bought him food he liked (he has expensive taste), I started work because he pressured me and when I was off work, he told me to look for another job. Despite all that I tried to stay with him until the end, because I though we could last forever like he said. I stopped trying when he tried to cheat on me while giving me a 'chance' when I did nothing wrong.
I feel hot and cold, I feel happy but at random moments I start crying out of nowhere. My heart feels like I miss him and want to be like the way it was before (I feel like shit), but he doesn't want me back because I ended things with him harshly. My mind tells me that it's better this way, I don't have to deal with his cheating and I can avoid being hurt further which is why I said something mean - so I don't go back to him ever again. I'm acting like I don't care.. but I'm conflicted.
How can I get over the heartbreak. I listen to music and I go to work, I keep myself busy with taking enormous amounts of shifts and overnight shifts. But I can't get this out of my mind. Help?
Most Helpful Girl
Literally on the same boat as you. My ex was emotionally and mentally abusive calling me stupid and annoying all the time. But when he'd do what I do to him to me I don't get all upset at him. He knows he's emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative but blames it on the certain people he has dated... As much bad as there was there was so much good and I understand 100% where you're coming from. I've been so temped to message my ex but everyone just tells me not to.
He was a jerk to you remember that. He may have promised you a lot my ex has too but you really wouldn't be happy. You deserve someone who loves every bit of you and doesn't threaten to hurt you or call you things. You deserve so much better. I know it feels like you don't and you don't want better you want him. I know where you are coming from but there is someone who can give you so much more than that and make you a million times happier. It may seem impossible now but there is better out there.1