Break up or not?

We have had an amazing 4 year relationship but in the last 2 months he has become distant now that he has moved 500 miles away, he said nothing has changed but I dont think thats true.
  • yes
    Vote A
  • no
    Vote B
  • Give it some time and then decide
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Things have changed because circumstances had changed and that's just the way real life is. Circumstances for his own life, his goals, etc.

    If he moved away because he relocated for a new career or job position or something, then there's not really anything you can do to hold him back from it, it's his life and his career goals. If he really wanted to sacrifice all of that to stay with you then he would have done so already.

    Either way it's completely beyond your control and that's just the reality of it.

    I understand that 4 years is quite a long time for an emotional investment. But I don't think there really is a whole lot you can do. Maybe you can give it up to a year or something. See if you can figure out what you can actually do that will make a long distance relationship work out with him if possible or if you can move close enough to the same area or city he's currently at and get a job and move there also. The second situation is much harder, if not impossible to achieve. And even if you had moved there no guarantees he'll still willing to keep the relationship going as you did say he had become distant in the last 2 months prior to moving away for whatever reason it may be.

    • Boyfriend joining frat 500 miles away? will it work or not? -- I posted this on here not to long ago it says basically what is going on.

    • If that's the case, it makes me wonder is there a frat in that area there that you can also join and be closer to him? But to be realistic about it you would have to face the possibility that the relationship may be already over and that he did not want to formally end it with you. Just give it some more time, if he comes back sometime not to long later or whatever then maybe it might still work. Otherwise, just gather all your will, strength and determination to move on. Don't get so caught up and become down and depressed about it or anything. For every ending, there will be a New Beginning. It could just be that this chapter in your life, regarding this relationship you have had with him had ended and that it's a whole new chapter beginning in your life's story.

    • Thanks for MHO!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well... ldr's are always tough but especially since you've been together for 4 years, I'd put in a little more work into trying to salvage your relationship. Have you told him that you'd appreciate if he reached out via phonecalls/texts or whatever a bit more often, as he's otherwise coming off a bit distant?

    • Boyfriend joining frat 500 miles away? will it work or not? --- i just posted this on here im not sure if you can search it it will come up but I wrote basically everything that is going on in our relationship

    • Show All
    • Ughh your so right!! I do need to set boundaries. looking back I feel as if i never did. OH and one more thing to add. So he was supposed to come down to our home town for this wedding that we both were going to and he changed his mind and i still told him to come down and he said verbatim " why would i go down there, there is no reason for me to go" like as if IM not a reason you know. we got into a huge argument over that comment.

    • ... yikes.
      Girl, you know he's bad news. Tell him what you just told me here and if he doesn't own up to fucking up and change his ways, I'd say it'd be in your best interest to call it quits.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Mis gaga you have put 4 long years in with this guy ride it out get through it

  • Why don't you think that's true? If I may ask

    • look up ( Boyfriend joining frat 500 miles away? will it work or not? ) It basaclly states everything that is going on.

    • Right I saw that now. Yes it will be very difficult in that case, most probably it won't.

  • Give it some time and then decide


What Girls Said 1

  • When someone you love moves away it becomes a challenge to maintain the relationship. It's not impossible for it to continue, but the relationship does change drastically. So you have to try to adapt to the those changes

    Sacrifices , compromising and daily contact is needed if the relationship is to survive the distance

    Most people who move away pursue a new life there, and they start slowly letting you go. If he loves you though , his love won't be measured by the distance.

    I'd only hold onto a long-distance relationship if he was making the effort to still be part of my life. I'd never AGAIN fight alone for a place in a guys life. If he wants me there then he'll make an obvious effort to put me in his life

    Give him time to adjust and settle, but I'd end it if you're the only one fighting to make the relationship endure the distance . You can't fight alone.


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