I'm leaving to the military. Would you agree with him?

Well, over the last few weeks I've gotten rather close to someone. He likes me and I like him. The way he talked made it seem like he wanted to keep it going. Ugh..we wound up having sex.

I found out soon after that because I was leaving in a few months, he felt that he shouldn't get too attached.

I understand why he wouldn't want to...but I still feel played and used. He said he would never do that to me and he really does care. Then he sent audios of him playing guitar to my phone when I wouldn't reply. Eventually we did talk...and he said that he feels lost too. And our situation will only lead to heart break. Would you agree with that? Is it a catch 22?

I don't know...I think I'm just sort of venting...

I'm not entirely sure how to feel.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello,

    Ok so you both liked each other and you had sex, and now it seems that your both keeping your distance from each other becouse reality has hit and you realised that your lives will take you different places...

    well first point, NO you were not played, I know some people have said you were but you wern't you had sex and when he realised that you were leaving he decided he didn't want to get to deep with someone who he won't see for a long time..(distance is the relationship killer, no one wants to be part of that emotional train wreck)

    Now your both to blame for what happened afterwards. you both just ignore each other leaving the other one feeling confused and hurt, what you should have done is met up for a cup of coffee someware and discussed the situation you found yourself in given they you both knew this fling wouldn't be going anyware.

    Now NORMALY I would advise against going back to exes but this is something of a unique situation. there's no reason why you cant, (so long as your grown up about it) go your seperate ways, live your lives and then should you find yoursleves single and together again take off where you left it...(In typical breakups DO NOT GO BACK)

    if your both still in contact, meet up when you can and spend a few min clearing the air, then go your seperate ways, delete each others numbers.. only meet up again if its a chance meeting (strangers in the night style), otherwise temptation will get the better of you both and that's just more pain, no one wants the "Ive met someone else" text message.

    Good Luck



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What Guys Said 3

  • What branch of military? Anything other than airforce, he could stand a leg within this debate out of the fear of you not returning home but in a casket. Even at that fact, you have to consider that he won't be there to witness any flags of you cheating.

    For both of your sanities, it's best to call it quits and then rekindle things when you come home. You won't have to worry about him being in touch and cheating on you; he won't have to worry about the same towards you; etc.

    And on a side note, he sounds like he is using you by what you described; but I'm sure I haven't gotten the whole story, so I won't jump to conclusions.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • Take a hot path and three Tylenol. Forget this douche as if he's not the patience to wait he's wasting your time. Call me in the morning.

  • Why do girls always complain they are played or used, you didn't get anything out of the sex, intimacy, the shared moment. Did you enjoy the flirting, attention, fun, etc it was paid for so stop feeling that way, fact you are going away long distance realtonships are hard to keep, you might even forget about him or lose the emotional bond if you haven't spend a lot of time with him...


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