Hi guys, Needing some opinions, my girlfriend of 4 months suddenly dumped me yesterday and I just don't get what happened! I was so shocked I never really said anything I just accepted it and said bye. I was really startin to think she could be the one, I know I have to let her go and leave her alone but I need to understand what happened, what I did.
Everything seemed to be going fine, we were making plans for the future and talking about things to do with each other in the near future too. Then At the beginning of the week we have spent a couple of days at her caravan, we were having fun the and she suggested we stay and extra night which I agreed to. The next day and a half she seemed distant, was sitting away from me and not very chatty. I mentioned she had been quite but she said she was just really tired (she had slept loads). We went home and she made excuses not to see me the next day but we made plans for yesterday. I didn't hear much from her til we met to go out and that's when she hit me with it.
She said she thought at this stage we should be saying things like I love you but we aren't and she doesn't have that feeling for me. She said I had done nothing wrong and I'm the perfect boyfriend? I said I thought she was the perfect girlfriend then we went our separate ways. I wish I had asked more now. Where has this come from all of a sudden? If it had been in her mind then Why make more plans? Why ask to extend our stay at the caravan? I know I have feelings for her but haven't said I love you cause I want it to really mean something when I do and not just be some throw away comment. I'm dying inside right now :(.
Any ideas what happened? What did I do wrong? Why leave me if I'm perfect? Sorry for the rant, thanks folks.
I think you guys are totally right. I was going with the flow way too much the last few weeks. I had been doing what I thought would make her happy and had stopped being desicive. I always made time for her over everything else.
I think I know the answer but what's the odds of her coming back so I get a second chance?
Most Helpful Guy
I know this must have been are rude shock and I can understand how you're feeling terrible and you want information, are second guessing yourself etc.
But you can't even explain your own emotions half the time, so don't try and understand someone else's. This isn't math where you can work it out. It's a mystery and it will remain one so just let her go.
If you were a perfect match for each other, you'd be together, or you WILL be together. Right now, she broke it off so respect her and don't try to gather information like you're writing a term paper. Nobody likes to be a project.
Give her space and let her work it out for herself. Remember, you don't want her either right now. Why? Because you want a girl who's totally into you, who makes plans and then the plans expand and it all rolls like a train and leads to babies etc, right? Well, she's not there, at least not right now.
The kind of man SHE would want would be somebody who's comfortable enough in his own skin that he can grant her the space to work things out for herself. Grant her that and maybe she will contact you again.
A not about closure: it's the ego's craving for information, reasons and justification. True closure comes from inside, from your mind and spirit agreeing that YOU are perfect just as you are, which is the truth. There's nothing you did wrong, just learn to relax your mind, don't judge her or yourself.
I hope this provides a little perspective. Best of luck.1