How to get my relationship back?

well I have been dating this guy for almost a year and a half. we have had our ups and downs as all relationships do. the only thing is our relationship is not normal. my parents are both very strict on me, which he knew before he started dating me, and do not let me hang out with friends or date. my mom sometimes will let me go to the mall with friends. so today me and my boyfriend/ fiance(he preposed saying I was the one and I have a ring and so does he) were doing great and we had planned to go to build a bear to make me another bear, but this time together. and when we half way there my mom called saying my dad was at school waiting to pick me up. so we had to turn around so he could drop me off and he would not talk to me at all. and he finally said he wanted to date a girl he could see everyday and one that her parents wouldn't mind him dating. so when he was dropping me off my dad saw him and asked me about my bf. and right before I got in the care with my dad my boyfriend called saying that my dad saw him because my dad was outside of his car,and I told him I know and that I loved him and not to worry. so my dad took me to his work and the whole way I got a talk about how I'm not sappose to date and all that stuff. and when I arrived at my dadfs work I texted my boyfriend and told him that my dad knew about us and that my dad was going to kick my out when I turn 18. and my boyfriend called me and said if was my fault as soon as I said hello. and then he said that he hopes I have a place to go(we had planned to get married after I was 18 and live together and go to college and med school) and then he said that he was braking up with me because my parents controlled my life and that I never take up for myself(my parents abuse my sometimes) and he said that I can talk to him when I get in control or move out. so I don't know what to do I just texted him and asked him "why are you is being lik this? because you knew my parents were lik this." so what can I do to fix things with my bf? lik he is usually there for me when I get in arguments with my parents and he is lik my bestfriend. and I know he is mad because he had got into an argument before all this happened. please help me with this I really need good advice on how to fix things with my boyfriend like we already have our life planned out and I know we love each other. its just things are so hard for us because my parents. thanks.

Updates:
he won't text me at all so I have no way of getting in touch with him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is almost exactly like my relationship but opposite. His family is the controlling side. I'm sorry, but I do agree with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend wants someone who KNOWS what she wants and doesn't want her parents determining who she can date and be in love with. They control your life. He's not dating you. He's dating YOU and your PARENTS. What type of life is that? I know you love him. And I know he loves you (I love my boyfriend so much, but I'm still thinking about dumping him because I'm starting to see that he does not have to balls or the ability to be with me. Maybe one day, but not now. I want to be with him, which is why I wrote a post on here, too. Read mine. See the other side of the spectrum). They only way you are going to get him back is if you get your OWN life in order. You take control and tell your parents that they can either support what makes you happy or get out of your life. He wants to know that your parents won't be "extra baggage" or have any influence on you and your planned life together once you graduate and move out. I know they are your parents and you love them, but you have to grow up a little. It might take time for you to get an idea on what you want to do, but if he truly loves you like he says he does (and I don't doubt it), you'll get him back.

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    • By post, I mean question about what I should do

    • Thanks. and I thought about it from his point of view. and he knows I really hate my parents. lik I let him know as soon as I get out of the house I'm not talking to them again. but thanks:) you gave me hope that we wil get back together. and I am 16 and now getting my permit(yeah its kinda sad.lol) and I told him brfore ill be driving and seeing him often. but he has his doughts.which I fully understand. so is there some way you might no that I can take control of my life? I don't know where to start..

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What Guys Said 1

  • you need to move on with your life...right now, your ex-b/f cannot take care of you and you are still dependent on your parents...if things were fated then the both of you will be reunited again when your more grown up and more independent...he needs to see other women to realize what he's missing if there really was anything special between the 2 of you...this is reality for now...have hope and just follow your dream for now...

    i was in the same situation as you...i tried to go out with this girl in my junior and senior year of high school...her parents were very strict and controlling to the point that I did give up after graduation...10 years later at the high school reunion, I went and talked to her father to let me go out with his daughter and he finally conceded...although I didn't see her that time, she did call before I left and ever since we have been together

    i'm kind of glad that I didn't rush into it so fast because I realize now that I wasn't ready then...me and her parents are on better terms now...i have a good career and I am independent enough to take care of her when we do get married

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm sure you don't want to listen to anyone who would try to end your relationship with your boyfriend, but I'm gonna give it to you straight...kid version!

    Your parents are right that you are not ready to date. You're sneaking around with this guy and he doesn't even have the ability to stand by you when you are having problems with the folks. And he is NOT your fiance cause a man who is ready to take responsibility would find a place for you to go if your parents put you out. That's what a husband/fiance/boyfriend who is ready to take on an adult responsibility would do with a woman, not a kid.

    Next, your boyfriend is a total loser and you probably think that he's awesome because you two were making a build-a-bear together. That's something I do with my 11 year old daughter...a child. Your boyfriend is a total coward for even getting mad at you and wouldn't dare have the guts to show up at your parent's home to ask if he could date you. So what you have rings for each other anyone who has enough money can go out and buy a piece of jewelry.

    The first step of maturity, has missed you and your boyfriend. You aren't mature enough to be honest with your parents and he's not mature enough to stand up like a man to speak to your parents. These are the things that people do out of respect...so I can see why your parents don't want you to date or hang out. If you get involved with this idiot, I don't see you going to college and med-school...I see you married to a little boy who doesn't know how to handle responsibilities and will 'knock you up' and leave you with a kid to raise on your own. Getting angry with you and dumping you when the going get's tough leaving you to deal with the folks is a good example of what I mean.

    I don't know you and have no vested interest in your success or your failure...I just call it like I see it. Grow up first little girl and your parents will take you seriously. Sneaking around is the first sign of immaturity...your parents care about your future because they birthed you, fed you, and raised you in their home. Your boyfriend hasn't done anything to prove to you that he's ready for taking care of you, providing shelter for you, or feeding you. KRL

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  • if he ussually doesn't act like this, then maybe something is wrong. I think that you should ask him. I hope this helps

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