Why would an ex still stalk you and monitor your conputers if you've been broken up for almost 5 years?

We only dated for 2 years. He was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive and he didn't take me out on dates or act how a boyfriend is supposed to act. When we were together he went to school to be a systems administrator and he hacked my Dell computer by installing remote viewing software through Ubuntu. I was going through a rough time when my dad died and he made me feel fucking terrible on purpose on numerous occasions just Bc he could. He'd lie to me about seeing his ex behind my back and he was just moody and abusive in several ways. He didn't act like he loved me at all and when I'd try to leave he'd say of course I love you and I'd ask him how would I know if you don't do anything to show it and I don't feel loved at all. He never showed that he cared through his actions and he expected me to pay for everything including his food, movie and show tickets, gas, booze cigarettes and even throw him money so he could go buy pot. If I brought up a concern he'd tell me I was overreacting and his brother would say I was paranoid behind my back knowing the shit he pulled. It got to the point where I just stopped trying to argue with him and became super complacent Bc I was afraid of him and his temper. It was sad Bc I stayed with him Bc I figured if this was as bad as it got at least it was better that he hurt me than anyone else Bc it could always be worse. He'd tell me to kill myself and that he didn't care what happened to me and he'd say that his friends hated me and thought I was a loser even though I avoided them and didn't give them any reason to have a problem with me. I mostly kept to myself Bc he didn't want me hanging out with my friends Bc he deemed them losers too even though some have high paid jobs and sports cars and college degrees. He would just say mean shit to me on purpose and he'd get mad and make me out to be the problem if I defended myself so I kinda just sat there and tolerated it
Updates:
The cops won't do shit, my ex acted like he didn't give a fuck when we broke up and he slept with his ex and other people after we broke up just to piss me off, and after he insulted me and put me down and cursed at me and made all sorts of belittling remarks he'd expect me to stay friends with him so we could go out drinking or whatever. I declined and he got mad. He made it clear we weren't going to date ever again and I never pursued it yet he'd continue to hack my stuff.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys never let go. And maybe it gives him a thrill to hack into your networks, since that's his work field... he may do it just out of boredom.

    I know I followed exes for years. Not hacking, but lurking on their networks and the like.

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    • I hope this. Isn't a frightening situation for you. Thaks for the MHO!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in the same horrible situation.

    I am not replying to his messages, calls and friend requests. I told my family to do that as well.
    He demands to have contact with me and if I give him a reply, he is already getting what he wants. These exes of us are not able to move on and probably won't stop, as it is something psychological.
    I am collecting evidence and will soon go to the police. They will be able to go to him and ask him not to contact me again. I can't enjoy my relationship with my man, as my ex is always popping in my mind (in a negative way).

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think you answered your own question

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    • Well what do you mean? I don't know what to do?

    • Your question was why would he do that and the answer is clearly that he is controlling. He feeds off being able to control you. As for what to do, I would recommend (like I have to do so many times) professional help. Why people turn to an advice forum for serious issues instead of a trained professional, I will never know.

    • I have but the social workers write me off and the cops don't do anything. The social workers think that Bc I haven't talked to or seen him since March that he'll leave me alone but he hasn't. He expects me to hang out with him as a friend and he'll treat me like shit and put me down and try to make me jealous. I gave up on the relationship Bc it was going no where he won't change and he obviously does little things here and there to intentionally piss me off. I confronted him through text and he didn't respond and I don't know what the hell else he wants from me, I came to the realization he never loved me and he was just using me and I walked away and even now he doesn't leave me alone.

  • He's a psycho. Call the cops, ffs!

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  • You should ask the web developers from this site.

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