Guys, did I mess up by pushing my ex away?

We have no contact for 4 months after the break up and I was the one who reached out first. When we talked we very much fell into the routine that we were together again. Him more than me. I was more realistic. He wanted to remain friends with benefits and at first I agreed but I changed my my soon after because I realized that even before we had sex that he was being very distant. He would point out that he was busy and he'd put me on hold and us actually being together for almost 2 years, it didn't feel right. So we agreed to stop talking for a while. After another month of no talking he reached out to me saying that he missed me. And although I missed him too I told him that we couldn't be friends. He insisted we could and I fell for it in a way because I just couldn't let him go. I didn't think it would be that bad of a idea. But I was head set on treating him like a friend. And when I didn't react the way he wanted me too he stopped messaging me. I know he wanted me to show him I cared kinda like if we were together again. But I couldn't. It wasn't fair to me. And I knew that during this entire time we were broken up he was a major player. And I just didn't trust him. Which was partially the reason he broke up with me. We'd fight a lot mostly leading up to me not trusting him. And although I loved him so much I didn't trust him. I had my reasons. And so after him not replying to my messages I called him and after tears we agreed that we shouldn't be friends at least for a while. But I just couldn't. It broke my heart all over again. And now a month later he has a new girlfriend. Which really hurt. And now all he ever posts is things about him not caring about anything. And I worry about him still. Even though we aren't together. But now I have to know. Was he trying to play me too? Or did I mess up?


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What Guys Said 2

  • No, you didn't mess up. He lost your trust and the only thing you did wrong was that you gave into him when he kept coming back to you for attention. Yeah, you don't want it to be over, it might hurt to accept that... But it's better when you can be strong and accept it didn't work out and move on. Holding onto this hope that you can get back with someone that it already hasn't worked out with is pointless.

  • Well only you can really decide that


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