Have you ever kept loving someone romantically even after they hurt you and you realize they're not a good person?

I'm struggling so much with this.
I met someone I thought was incredibly sweet and caring, someone I fully trusted to never hurt me, only to discover after our relationship started falling apart and ultimately ended that he's nothing short of a horrible human being.
He's manipulative, malicious, and totally fucked in the head, but even after months of being apart, and months since I realized this, I still have love for him in my heart. And I'm not totally over him even though I'd never get back with him.

Is it just me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • no it's not only you.
    You see girls are emotionally creatures and quite loyal when it comes to love we feel connected and attached quickly especially when we get the feeling that the guy cares about us and will protect us.
    In your mind you get flashbacks about the sweet moments like certain things he said to you or done it is as if you miss those moments and it makes you think he's not bad !
    But you have to make yourself remember the bad things he did and say whenever you do that you will feel disgusted and think he did indeed not deserve you and that you miss him is just silly.
    you don't miss him but miss the sweet gestures and qualities that you thought he had.
    So instead don't look back at his pics or conversations but move on !
    Find the guy that will care enough and don't let your emotional feelings control you.
    Don't trust guys easily with your heart ;)

    • Aw thank you

    • no problem just helping out another sister ;p

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • No, I have never been in love and so this has never happened to me. However I can understand how it must be for you.

    I hope you are ok.

  • still do... 2+ decades later

    • God I hope I don't love him that long. I'm sorry.

  • I've been there. You're not alone.

    • How long did it take you to get over it?

    • The deep shit over a year. The mild stuff about 2 and a half years.

    • How long were you with her?

  • You are not alone mate!! I love an ice queen, who I personally think enjoys my misery and her being the cause of it.

    This newfound mindset of mind towards her is hard because, she was once the sweetest and kindest person I'd ever met. And I admit I wasn't the best mate, but anything I did that cause conflict I apologized and tried to make up for. But her, it's more like "If I do something, boo hoo, get over it".

    It's tough.

    • Similar situation with me. Yeah it's very tough

What Girls Said 3

  • The bond you had was strong. I still love my ex with everything I have. He hurt me... but he wasn't malicious or anything. He had some demons... his parents screwed him up royally. So I dont blame him completely for his actions... but at some point he had to take responsibility for certain things. I can tell by the way you wrote, that you love and invested the time into the relationship... and thats why it hurts like it does. I, myself am going through a recent break up and Im still battling with the emotions.

    • Yeah. I want to be over it already, loving someone who is so horrible is not a good feeling.

    • No it isn't. But just push through. You can do it.

  • No it's not just you, I am going through something freakishly similar! While I wouldn't consider him to be a "horrible" human being, he just wasn't very nice to me, but months later I cannot stop thinking of him. I am in love with him, and it's driving me crazy.

    • That's how I feel. I think about him constantly and I don't want to. :/

    • Show All
    • Hope it all works out

    • Same to you

  • Yes, I'm so foolish for that.


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