Unbelievable situation- stay or go?

been dating this girl for a month now. 3rd date i found out that she had a 2yr long relationship and was cheating on the guy with me, says she didn't have feelings for him for a while, is now only into me, and the only reason why she cannot dump him is because she can't bear to hurt him.

i decide to believe her and also to see where the chips fall, continue the relationship.

she considers what we have between us serious, but i can't take the same stance, and am fitting myself ready to back out anytime.

here's where things get unbelievable, and she warned me of this initially when i found out about the cheating- the boyfriend is coming to visit her, after being apart 6 months in a different country. she feels bad for him, will sleep with him one more time before dumping him, and i'm to know this, and wait for it.


oh, she says it would only be fair if i slept with someone else too meanwhile.

i said i'm not gonna return the pain on her and also use another girl on my end who would turn into a victim so instead, i said i would wait for her.

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Uhh sounds like a classic crazy bitch... and your gonna get burned... id put her on the back burner... once a cheater always a cheater

    • I agree continuing like the situation is right now, would not be good. However, it's not her fault, or anyone else's for that matter.

      She's just doing what she does, nothing crazy about it. And I have cheated in the past. It's hard to imagine doing it today and I haven't even considered it in recent relationships. I'm simply a different person. So I'd suggest the maxim "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't true. People do change :-)

    • Show All
    • @ImmunoDane and besides that you stated she's just doing what she does, so she's looking elsewhere outside the commitment she made to someone else for something she is trying to fill in the void... how do you know you are not the side piece... and this whole question opinion is based off your question every piece of information I have is what you provided... its hard to see things from a outside perspective when all you want to see is from the inside and everything you want to believe... trust me I get it completely but this girl is gonna burn u

    • @ImmunoDane beside that fact why are you engaging in a opinion based off someone elses question or statement... just curious

What Guys Said 2

  • It’s plain to hear that this is simply not okay with you. It sounds like nothing you’d ever do.
    However, you clearly like this girl and it would be very painful to leave like this, because what if what if what if, right?

    I suggest you concentrate on your own mind for a spell. Realize that it’s really how you THINK about things that makes them the way they are. You can’t change her, but you can change the way you think about things.

    Don’t judge her or yourself, just relax and see if you can come up with a few thoughts that feel a little better, for example “I’m glad I found this out before I’d constructed a whole future around her”. Or “I’ll let her do what she wants, It’s not for me to tell her how to live her life”, or “I’m sure I’ll meet a girl who shares my values”, or “people do change. She could have a change of heart and maybe then. Meanwhile, I ‘ll just mind my own business”.

    The reason why none of these involve engaging with her is that you’re clearly upset about this situation and you’d just be more upset if you tried to change her behavior, which is also impossible, convince her to forget about him, which will probably just make her want him more etc etc.

    Don’t engage with her while you’re on such shaky ground emotionally. I know this is driving you crazy. Concentrate on YOU.

    Does this make any sense?

  • No, it is not the most unbelievable thing I've hard. The bitch is crazy. If you stay, then that makes you crazy too...


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